Was First Minister caught short and forced to use face mask to wipe her little bottom?
STURGEON’S ENEMIES SPREAD OUTLANDISH POO IN PANTS RUMOUR
AS far back as the days of Macbeth, Scottish power politics has been a dirty and brutal business.
And so it is today, with rivalries between the ruling SNP and unionist Scots every bit as fierce as the clan blood feuds of old.
So when First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was seen at a funeral WITHOUT a face covering, it was like oatmeal from heaven for rivals who want to thwart her plans for an independent Scotland.
But these things get out of hand and by midweek the story had taken on a life of its own, with some unionist hardliners spreading the preposterous story that Ms Sturgeon was not wearing a covering because she’d wiped her ARSE with her mask.
A fuming senior SNP member said: “I first heard the rumour on Wednesday that Nicola was not able to wear a face mask because she’s wiped her bottie with hers after being caught short and having to run to the lavvy.
“These union types will sink to any depths to derail the independence juggernaut.
“This preposterous story shows just how desperate they are.”
Ms Sturgeon apologised last week for breaching COVID rules by taking her face mask off at a wake.
The Scottish Sun has published a photograph of her standing talking to three people at a social distance, but with her face uncovered.
She was attending a wake after the funeral of a Scottish government civil servant who died with COVID.
Ms Sturgeon had been wearing a tartan mask and is said to have taken it off briefly as she was leaving the venue.
In a statement to the BBC, the first minister said: “This was a stupid mistake and I’m sorry. I was in the wrong, I’m kicking myself.”