WHAT A LITTLE SHIT!
Brat put LAXATIVES in gran’s Christmas dinner because he didn’t get a PS5
LITTLE Tommy Micklethwaite convinced himself that gran Ida Vaughn was going to buy him a space- age PS5 games console for Christmas.
So the grasping little shit was crestfallen when 76- year- old Ida – who has firm views on spoiled brats – presented him with a £ 10 book token instead!
In the resulting tantrum, six- year- old Tommy:
Called his gran a “twat”,
Battered the family cat, Merlin, to death with a rolling pin,
Smashed his fouryearold sister Phoebe’s gifts with his fists,
Vomited up the vegan chocolate selection box his indulgent parents Nigel and Petra had allowed him to eat for breakfast at their home in Ware, Herts.
But the tearaway was not done yet…
Because as the family watched Her Majesty
The Queen deliver her annual message to the Commonwealth, Ida had to rush to the lavvy.
It was the first time she had missed the Queen’s Speech in 40 years, so the family was immediately concerned.
That concern only grew as Ida remained in the smallest room for the next hour, “shitting through the eye of a needle”, as she put it.
Initially, Petra feared that her vegetarian festive bake was to blame until Tommy’s chortling and an open box of strong laxatives revealed the truth.
Crystal therapist Petra said: “Nigel and I sat Thomas down and had a very serious chat about boundaries and he explained that he was merely acting in an inappropriate manner due to disappointment over his presents.
“We, of course, both congratulated him on vocalising grievances in such an eloquent manner and were just about to have a group hug when Ida had to rush off to the bog again.
“We have told Thomas that for facing up to his anger, we’ll buy him the PS5.”
Now back home, Ida said: “That kid is the Devil. No wonder, with that New Age c** t as a mother and my soppy son as his father.”