Think? THIS WEEK WE LOOK AT BORIS’S BIKE RIDE

IT’S one rule for them and another for the rest of us. Unlike the old Etonian, I have been banned from ever owning a bicycle after that incident with the seat post and the ripped shorts in Chichester. So unlike the privileged Prime Minister I can’t even ride one mile on a bike, even if I wanted to.

Bill Johnson, Peterborough

BORIS going for a bike ride just goes to show that this whole thing is made up. My mate’s brother had it and he didn’t die, so what’s the problem? It’s just like all the other diseases that the medical industry insist are real – like AIDS, athlete’s foot and the flu.

Ken Steel, Morpeth

I HOPE this hoo- ha doesn’t bring in further restrictions. I’ve been using my bike rides as cover to meet my mistress and shagging her in the woods. If they clamp down because of Boris then I’ll be stuck just shagging the missus at home.

Greg Slater, Stockport

JOHNSON is a complete cockwomble. I don’t have a problem with his politics and I don’t care if he broke the rules with his bike ride. What bothers me is the fact he was wearing a suit while riding his bike. Who the hell does that?! I’m not saying he should be all in lycra, but a full suit just shows what a weirdo he is.

Layla Deforest, Newcastle

IF I was Boris, I wouldn’t be leaving the house for long exercise sessions – not when he’s got that Carrie bird at home. She’s well fit! I’d be getting all my exercise on top of her, if you know what I mean? Eh?! And she’s proper posh, too, which means she almost certainly does anal sex, right? Phwoar!