Woke bogroll purge is just taking the piss

THE curse of political- correctness has been with us for many years.

Decades ago, we laughed at how “loony left” councils banned the nursery rhyme Baa-Baa Black Sheep or how godless local authorities renamed Christmas “Winterval”.

But now a sinister cadre of PC zealots has emerged – the “Woke” brigade.

Like the Jesuits or the SS, these stormtroopers of ideological purity brook no dissent, take no prisoners, smash all enemies.

And the tentacles of this chilling movement extend into every part of our land: the government, the judiciary, the police, science, the media and even our town halls.

Common sense and reason crumble before the assault of the woke brigade.

How else can we explain a council which has burned more than £1million-worth of white toilet paper and replaced it with more “culturally-sensitive” brown tissue?

Incredibly, thanks to a court injunction passed by a judiciary infested with “woke” warriors, we are unable to name the council.

Those involved in this terrifying plot will stop at nothing until our words, deeds and, indeed, our very thoughts are brought into line with their bigoted creed.

And we shall all be forced to wipe our behinds with brown toilet roll.

Britain, a country once known for Shakespeare, for Milton, for Brunel, Turing and Churchill, will become the Land of the Skidmarks.

It is up to us all to stand against this pollution of our minds, our souls and our underpants – a line in the sand must be drawn…

Hands off our toilet paper, woke loons!