WHO DOES ANAL ANTICS FOR CASH Ole BUM MER Solskjaer
DWARF
IF Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was gutted to be sacked as Man United manager, his despair would have been cushioned by the reported £ 7.5MILLION payout he received from Old Trafford bosses.
Maybe he could throw a bit of the loot Mike Hinkle’s way.
Because the pint- sized gigolo is now facing RUIN after Ole crashed out of the top flight.
Mike, from the wretched Manchester district of Stretford, in the shadow of the Theatre of Dreams, has been making a mint during Ole’s reign at the club.
He said: “When Ole was signed as manager, my resemblance to him was a golden ticket. I changed my AdultWork profile to ‘ Ole Gunnar Solskjaer dwarf gigolo’.
“Until then I’d been struggling a bit but with the celebrity link I was coining it in.
“I even bought myself a new Jag, with special pedals that I could reach. I felt like the King of Stretford.”
Bummed
Mike explained that he was mainly hired by female United fans who liked it up the arse but was sometimes hired by couples.
He said: “I’d never do owt with the blokes, I’m not ‘ one of them’. But I let the fellas watch while I bummed their wives.
“There’s blokes that like being cuckolded by a lookalike sex dwarf.
“Now I’m just back to being a run of the mill dwarf gigolo.
“In the good times it was spend, spend, spend. I was a bit silly and neglected to put away a bit for a rainy day.
“Now I’ve got nowt.”
Mike said a pal suggested that he could hire himself out as a Keith Chegwin lookalike dwarf, as he also bears a slight resemblance to the late kids’ TV drunkard.
But he said: “Who wants to be bummed up the arse by a dwarf lookalike of a dead man? That’s just ruddy ghoulish!”