I ATE XMAS PUDS… AND NOW I’VE SHAT A GIANT YULE LOG!
Barry’s pride at ‘record breaking’ plop
SINCE getting a Guinness Book of Records for a Christmas present as a nipper, determined Barry Foster has dreamed of being on its pages.
Alas, a lifelong athlete’s foot problem has denied him a place in the sporting section and a temp job as a warehouseman means he is unlikely to make it as World’s Richest Man.
But when he got his hands on a job lot of shortdated Christmas puddings, he decided it was his gateway onto the hallowed pages.
Barry, of Wrexham, north Wales, explained: “I decided to set a record for the fastest eating of 12 Crimbo puds.
“It’s harder than it seems and it took me nearly four hours. But I did it and I videoed the whole thing to send off to Norris McWhirter so he could include me in the 2023 edition.
“I was obviously too late for this year.”
But Barry’s attempt meant he was about to unwittingly challenge another record.
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Bunged
The unmarried 50- year- old said: “In all, I gobbled up near 24 pounds of dried fruit and suet and it played havoc with my innards.
“I was bunged up for two days but when I eventually went to sit down on the lavvy, I knew something magical was about to happen.”
Barry said that the plop he laid was a full 18 inches long and “as thick as my thigh”.
He said: “It felt like I had given birth out of my arse and my poor ringpiece was throbbing.
“But when I looked in the pan, I knew that something special had happened.”
Convinced he has done the world’s biggest plop, he fished the stool out of the pan and sent it off to Guinness HQ with a covering letter, claiming the World’s Biggest Poo.
He said: “If I have not won that record, I’ll eat my hat. Maybe, by next year, I’ll be in the book twice: once for the puds and one for the poo. That will be a proud day!”
● A 50- year- old man from Wrexham, north Wales, was last night arrested and charged with sending a noxious material through the post.