Bully brute Putin just a soiled shandy sipping cissy

WE all know bullies are, at heart, inadequates.

The tinpot tyrant throwing his weight around at work is, most probably, a meek mouse at home, forced into humiliating cuckoldry by a sexually aggressive wife.

The little dictator in hi-viz and a peaked cap spends his night at home, spoonfeeding the corpse of his long-dead mother, his only friend.

The steroid-pumped brute at the gym still burns with shame at the first time his under-sized genitals were spotted by the other boys in the school changing rooms.

So it is on the world stage.

The worst bullies of history have been slaves to their shortcomings and strut the globe to compensate.

Mussolini wet the bed until he was in his twenties.

General Franco was made to dress as a girl until he was 12.

Adolf Hitler’s grotesquelyshrunken member could not achieve erection unless he watched a lady defecate.

And now we learn that brute Vladimir Putin suffers under the weight of similar baggage.

In the famously macho world of Russian drinking, Putin could only manage SHANDY.

And even then, he soiled himself when a giggling young lady kissed him after he’d downed a measly two pints.

The burning shame of Putin’s shortcomings became a burning ambition.

An ambition that is now burning Ukraine.

But the heroic bravery of the Ukrainian defenders shows yet another universal truth.

Stand up to bullies and they melt like snow in the Russian springtime.

Given a sound spanking by the people of Ukraine, Putin has – metaphorically, at least – shat himself once more.

At least it won’t take much for the shandy-sipping cissy to drown his sorrows!