Only fools and royals...

OVER the last couple of weeks I’ve been watching the excellent Netflix series Narcos.

I know, I know… I’m well behind the curve on this one.

If you’re not aware, the series tells the story of drug kingpin Pablo Escobar’s rise to fame and subsequent fall.

As well as a lot of drugs, murder and some excellently explicit sex scenes there’s a LOT of cash. Great big wads of cash.

Which reinforces the impression that anyone who carries huge – and I mean vast – amounts of folding is dodgy in some way.

Now, I’ve got no problem with paying a builder, for example, cash.

If he can shave off a few quid from the loot Rishi nicks off him every spring, good luck to the lad, I say.

But great bundles of 500 euro notes – the preferred currency of the criminal classes – stuffed in a suitcase?

Well, that’s closer to the world of Narcos than the ducking and diving of Fools and Horses.

Which brings us to the Prince of Wales.

Now, not for a second am I suggesting that the Qatari sheikh who bunged Charlie millions in cash made the money from, er, Charlie. I’m sure these gains were not ill- gotten.

But this all looks shifty. It emerged at the weekend that former Qatari prime minister Sheikh Hamad bin Jassim Bin Jaber Al Thani donated £ 2.5million to the Prince of Wales’s Charitable Fund in cash.

The prince and his fund claim all matters were dealt with properly, but without disputing the vast sums were indeed in cash – a practice fraught with official warnings.

Properly?

Try this out for size.

Imagine the Dibble stopped your car for some minor traffic infraction. They subsequently find £ 2.5million, in cash, in a suitcase in the boot.

Reckon they’d send you on your merry way if you simply told them it was being “dealt with properly”? Of course not.

There’d be a probing hand up your arse at the roadside and a team of forensic accountants poring over every transaction you’d made since the age of ten.

And you’d probably have the money seized. Just in case. There’s another question… If someone gave me a million, in cash, in a suitcase, my first question would be: “What is this shifty f** ker after?”

If Charlie did not ask himself this, he’s a f** king fool.

When men from the East come bearing gifts, it’s not because they think you’re the Little Baby Jesus.

It’s because they’re after something.

A favour, influence, access… By not handing this money back with a polite but firm, “Thanks but no thanks”, Prince Charles has sent a message to the world.

The British Royals are for sale.