BOOBS ON THE BOX BRITAIN’S ONLY NAKED TV GUIDE with JUSTIN DUNN

TODAY

Horror Channel, 9pm, The Reef TWO divers go looking for hidden treasure, only to find it’s also being searched for by deadly foes. Boobs at 9 mins and 44 mins. BBC4, 10.45pm, Pandemonium A WOMAN returns to exact revenge on the parents who tried to sacrifice her to dingoes in this bizarre comedy. Norks at one point. Horror Channel, 1045pm, Wrong Turn 3 YET another group of college kids turn into the path of cannibals. Helpfully, just 3 mins in one of the girls takes her top off ( above).

MONDAY

Syfy, 9pm, Sin City FABULOUS Frank Miller graphic novel brought to the screen with some excellent toplessness at 13 mins and 16 mins. Horror Channel, 11pm, Re- Animator BLACK comedy about a mad quack who wants to bring a very naked dead lady lack to life. Fully alive nudity at 10 mins ( right) and loads later.

TUESDAY

Film4, 10.45pm, Predator 2 A FLUFFILY frontal Teri Weigel shows her mimsy at 22 mins when she and her man engage in some highly spirited rumpage. Film4, 12.55am, Synecdoche, New York EMILY Watson’s chesticles look ace at 1hr 33 mins in a sex scene with Phillip Seymour Hoffman ( above). He was alive at the time.

WEDNESDAY

W, 10.20pm, Fatal Attraction GLENN Close gives us full frontal nudity ( above) at 18 mins in the film that infamously gave the world the term “bunny boilers”. Horror Channel, 10.55pm, Saw III THE jigsaw killer is back with ever more inventive ways to slaughter people, with one girl naked in a walk- in fridge at 42 mins. Horror Channel, 1.05am, Hatchet II YET more bloodthirsty stuff as topless pretty things – starting at 6 min – run away from a madman with an axe.

THURSDAY

E4, 10pm, Wanted NO front bums or boobs, but Angelina Jolie’s actual naked arse at 45 mins is definitely wanted ( right). And now we know she’s available again… Syfy, 10pm, Death Race: Inferno LUDICROUS but entertaining threequel about people racing cars to save their lives, with boobs at 22, 48 and 52 mins.

FRIDAY

Horror Channel, 12.40am, The Wicker Man CLASSIC Brit flick about a cop summoned to a Scottish island to investigate a young girl’s disappearance. Nudity from 16 mins ( above). Channel 4, 12.55am, Her ROMANTIC comedy with Joaquin Phoenix and Amy Adams and some excellent nudity at 8 mins, for those fans of the pregnant lady.