Bare- arsed fiasco shuts naked club

TEARFUL singer Lily Allen last week sobbed as she apologised “on behalf of my country” after seeing the squalid conditions refugees are languishing in at the Calais camp known as the Jungle.

She broke down in tears during a meeting with a 13- year- old boy from Afghanistan, who has risked his life trying to board UK- bound lorries.

The teenager, who says his father lives in Birmingham, has been camped at the Jungle for two months.

Allen told him: “It just seems that CRYING SHAME: Lily after meeting Afghan boy at three different intervals in this young boy’s life, the English in particular have put you in danger.

“We’ve bombed your country, put you in the hands of the Taliban and now put you in danger of risking your life to get into our country.

“I apologise on behalf of my country. I’m sorry for what we have put you through.”

In the spirit of making apologies, we apologise from the bottom of our hearts for printing the above topless picture for no good reason… RIVALRY: Mears ( left) and Grylls BRITAIN’S first naked nightclub was forced to close – because there were not enough lockers for bare- arsed ravers to store their clothes.

Joshua Walker, organiser of the Get Naked London party, explained that unexpectedly high demand meant there were insufficient lockers – as well as security personnel to ensure visitors could rub along happily and pervs could be kept out.

Despite the setback, Walker is committed to ensuring the party starts again soon.

Though full nudity will be encouraged, revellers will be invited to come “glammed up, semi- dressed or nude”.