MIKE’S BID FOR FAME

MADCAP Mike Beavis has struck a blow for equality by joining in the Stoke’s biggest boobs contest – even though he’s a 42- year- old hairy- arsed bloke!

The fork- lift driver from Tunstall said: “We’ve got some big tits here in Stoke, duck, but some of us blokes have pretty hefty top racks, too.

“I’ve never measured mine as I don’t wear a bra but I reckon they’re a decent C- cup at least.”