IN THE KNOW WITH
FORGET the whole hoha about the first female Time Lord, as the NETHER ALDERLEY CABINET MAKING CIRCLE is to have its first female chairman.
The woodwork group was formed in 1913 but numbers have dwindled since a 1936 high of 8,000 members.
But that could go into full reverse after girl rocker and woodworking nut AMELIA CRITTORIS joined the group and was elected boss.
Apparently she loves a bit of wood! THERE’S an old adage in show business – ‘never work with children and animals’. Well, former DAVENHAM POSH star JOSH LINKLATER has thrown that wise advice to the four winds. Josh – former beau of KNOTTED singer PIXIE TRANCE – is to front a new BOING! TV show called, originally enough, CHILDREN AND ANIMALS. And the ironic thing is that Josh’s UNCLE CLIVE is serving 10 years in prison – for running a website with the same name! IF you think there has been a rumpus over the publication of BBC stars’ pay, just wait until BOING! TV reveal their list.
Under the control of new Head of Future KLEM STOATE, Boing is committing itself to ‘ full transparency’ by 2020 – and that could mean red faces for stars like MILLERS BOTTOM veteran VANCE ARMITAGE.
His agent had dogging- related dirt on former Boing! boss SAMMY KEPLER and used it to get a ‘ generous’ deal. NO prizes for guessing who the ‘mystery star guest’ is on the next series of STRANDED IN BALA! That’s right…GWENDOLINE PILBRIGHT! The toff former antiques shop in assistant is being asked to live a tin the North Wales town with just of beans, a tarpaulin and a penknife. Considering the flap she got into in a chip shop during the last series of HARTLEPOOL UNCUT, this should make brilliant telly – especially as she won’t have the help of PIERS HOOLE – who has gone down with herpes! JUST when you think that things can’t get any worse for GOOLE MEADOW starlet TILLY SLOTTE, her life falls off yet another cliff edge.
Fresh from rehab after swigging a Tizer and Windolene cocktail at the GREEN BANANA club in Cannock, the 23- year- old moved to Gloucester to get ‘ back to nature’.
She was last seen being pursued by a wild boar in the Forest of Dean after apparently trying to decorate the porker’s tusks with GLITTER! I think we all know what she’s on…