NICK ROBINSON LOOKALIKE IN THERESA MAY’S HANDBAG
THAT WAS A C UNT OF AN ORDEAL!
BAG O’SHITE: It’s a crap time for the PM JUST when you thought Theresa May’s speech to the Tory Party conference could not have got any worse, it has emerged that a serial shitter CRAPPED in the PM’s handbag while she spluttered through her address!
Conservative activists cringed in horror last Wednesday as Mrs May suffered a coughing fit during the keynote speech to party faithful and was then handed a fake P45 by prankster Simon Brodkin.
To make matters worse, letters then fell off the slogan on the wall behind the PM.
But Sunday Sport can reveal that EVEN WORSE was going on behind the scenes – because aides found a steaming turd in the PM’s clutch purse!
The culprit was quickly identified as serial shit joker Arnold Prendergast.
Prendergast, 54, is believed to have “blagged” his way through security thanks to his remarkable resemblance to BBC Radio 4 Today presenter Nick Robinson.
Last night a Tory Party source said: “The PM came off the podium and said to her aides ‘ I think that went well’. Little did she know that someone had shat in her handbag.
“Thankfully, Mrs May did not discover the poo herself. An aide noticed a funny smell and looked inside the bag.
“The poor girl almost fainted when she saw what was inside.
“Honestly, we’re just glad that the Prime Minister didn’t find the poo herself. Nobody told her about it.
Shot
“And on the back of that omnishambles of a speech, it would have finished her off! “The police were called but it was established quite quickly that terrorism was not involved.” Prendergast – who has previously shit in The House of Lords and on the set of Britain’s Got Talent – was tight- lipped. Speaking from his home in POO MUST BE JOKING: Prankster Arnold is a ringer for Robinson ( left) Macclesfield, Cheshire, he said: “What me? Shit in the Prime Minister’s handbag? You may think that… I couldn’t possibly comment! Ha!”
In Manchester, Mrs May apologised for f** king up the general election and giving Jeremy Corbyn’s left- wing Labour Party a shot in the arm.
She said: “I hold my hands up for that. I take responsibility. I led the campaign and I am sorry.”
Last night, the PM was unavailable for comment about Prendergast’s shitty trick.