SOME DIRTY SUD’S COME IN THE SOAP!

WITH his steroid- shrunken cock thumbed inexpertly in the exhaust pipe of a 1995 Fiat Panda, it was clear that bodybuilder Kris Kinsey was up to no good.

But when discovered in flagrante with the £ 150 motor behind his local gym, addled Kinsey babbled: “This isn’t what it looks like!”

And when the shaven- headed brute’s pals laughed at his SOME dirty wanker has been filling the soap dispensers in the loos of a busy airport with SPUNK!

A major investigation is underway after cleaning staff discovered the soap had been tampered with and a mystery substance – thought to be semen – added.

The sludge was found in the North Terminal bathrooms at Detroit Airport.

One traveller said: “I just used the men’s bathroom, I just washed my hands. Finding this out, it is a little disgusting.”

Jamilia McClendon, who cleans the airport bathrooms, believes it has to be an inside job.

She said: “The way the soap dispensers are filled under the sink, a passenger wouldn’t know how to get under and untwist them.

“It really is disgusting, but a lot of crazy things happen at the airport.”

Cleaning staff are now being extra vigilant to make sure the soap is actually soap. A FLIGHT PROBLEM: Wanker struck at Detroit Airport predicament, short- tempered Mr Universe- wannabe Kinsey went berserk and began twatting the innocent car with a lump of scrap wood, screaming: “It’s all your fault… it’s all your fault.”

Thankfully, one of 38- year- old Kinsey’s pals had the presence of mind to capture the scene on his phone and the snap has been doing the rounds on social media.

The bodily fluid is set to be tested and the affected soap dispensers are being replaced.

Investigators said it was probably someone with a grudge.

The airport authority said it takes incidents involving health and safety very seriously.

A statement said: “We are in the process of installing brand new, tamper- resistant soap dispensers and are more frequently monitoring our rest rooms.”

The pal, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals, said: “Kris has been really losing it lately. He’s really been hitting the ’ roids.

“It’s no excuse to shag a Fiat Panda, though.”

Last night the curtains were closed at Kinsey’s one- bed flat in south Manchester.

Knocks on the door were ignored, apart from a slurred “f** k off” yelled through the letterbox.