BEETROOT-MAD CHUBBY BROWN BUILDER BLOCKS BOB CAROLGEES’ BOG

GREAT BLOKE: Bob with dog Spit A BURLY builder who’s the spitting image of comic Roy Chubby Brown is being blamed for blocking Spit the Dog funnyman Bob Carolgees’ personal toilet – creating a flood that caused £ 20,000 damage!

The mystery handyman, known only as “Bernie” was seen leaving the lavvy at a Manchester theatre, which cannot be named for legal reasons, just before what was described as “a tsunami of filth” flooded the ground floor and basement.

Fellow builder Chris Lewis, who was working on the same job, said: “This guy, we all knew him as Bernie, used to have a pile of beetroots for his dinner, then disappear to the bog for an hour.

“We were doing this job at the theatre and we knew that Bob Carolgees was appearing in panto there. We were warned that this particular crapper was Bob’s personal one and we were not to use it.

“Apparently Mr Carolgees, who’s a wonderful bloke by the way, is quite particular about it.

“But Bernie just said, ‘ I don’t care whose bog it is – I’ve had my beetroot and now I want my shit.’ He went off and soon after he CRAPPY FELLA: Beetroot lover Bernie and loo like he blocked came back the drains started backing up.”

Chris added: “It was clear he’d blocked the toilet. He was on his toes. He put his flask in his wheelbarrow and went out to his van. That’s the last we saw of him.

“The shit smell was incredible and the foreman was livid. They almost had to cancel that night’s performance of the panto as it was Snow White and they were worried a dwarf might drown in the effluent.

“Thankfully, we got it drained just in time.”

A source close to Bob Carolgees – who ran a candle shop after his showbiz heyday – said: “Bob has a load of amusing showbiz anecdotes. Strange, he’s never mentioned that one.”