Ode to school

Sunderland Echo - - Opinion -

‘Stand in line’ the teacher said ‘I’ve got in­struc­tions from the Head You have to have your la­bels read We’ll see where you’ve been shop­ping’ ‘No Asda, Tesco or the rest You have to go where we think best And woe be­tide you if we’re not im­pressed When we see where you’ve been shop­ping’ ‘I have this sam­ple in my hand If your pants match up well that’s just grand But if they don’t, you will be banned Be­cause we’ll know where you’ve been shop­ping’ With kids lined up on this crazy day The test be­gan, they had no say But are there re­ally fifty shades of grey? No mat­ter where you’re shop­ping. With nowhere to run, no place to hide The of­fend­ing mites were iden­ti­fied In one fell swoop they were cast aside Just be­cause of shop­ping. Now those kids turned up for ed­u­ca­tion Not to suf­fer hu­mil­i­a­tion And it says a lot about our once great na­tion De­graded be­cause of your shop­ping The head no doubt thinks she played it right Even a rare lo­cal Tory backed her fight It cer­tainly put her name up in lights So I won­der where she goes shop­ping. Some par­ents said she de­serves nowt but plau­dits And the rule was made but some chose to ig­nore it But not a sin­gle thought for those who can’t af­ford it And need to save when shop­ping. There’s a re­quire­ment for stan­dards even I’ll con­fess But the way this was han­dled was a to­tal mess And has the Head ever checked how her own teachers dress? I doubt if she’d send them shop­ping. So the moral of the story is to­tally clear Cut some slack, don’t rule by fear Re­mem­ber it’s Houghton, not North Korea And widen the scope for shop­ping. Derek Carter

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