Getting to grips with superhero drivel...
If you were to have a superpower what would it be?
It’s a question worth considering if you really, really have run out of things to talk about.
That the question was posed to me by my current squeeze/soulmate (delete where appropriate) perhaps doesn’t bode well for the longevity of our relationship.
My superpower, on the evidence of that question, clearly wouldn’t be ‘sparkling conversation’.
You know any conversation is heading downhill when any one of these three questions is asked.
1. If you won a million on the lottery, what would you buy?
2. Did you have a dream last night? Tell me about it ...
3. Who would win in a fight: a polar bear or a shark?
The answer to number three is the polar bear, since you ask. As long as they were fighting in under three feet of water. Any more and the shark has the edge.
When fighting on ice, it depends what breathing apparatus you engineer for the shark. As long as it doesn’t interfere with the biting motion of his gaping maw the shark’s got a better than 5050 chance.
From my answer you can deduce that I’ve been asked number three a few times. I’m not a keeper.
Back to the superpower issue.
I asked her to elaborate, and she said a person’s particular superpower should be something they already do well ... it’s just enhanced.
Skimming stones was my particular forte until a cricket injury took it’s toll. I picked my grip instead.
I have a particularly strong finger grip when compared to, say, a weak child.
Pretty useful for hurting said weak child or opening a jar.
I can open most jars with my grip. Although Marmite jars are difficult. Marmite is my kryptonite. Just as kryptonite renders Superman weak, so opening Marmite jars saps, erm, Grippo-Man, of his energy.
She asked me what I thought her superpower would be? “Walking,” I said. She didn’t look impressed.
“You’re good at walking,” I continued to dig. “You walk your dog all over the place.”
“You’d be Walker-Woman. People could call you if they needed some important letters delivered during a postal strike, but only if there was no particular rush to get them to their destination.”
Foot-in-the-Mouth Man strikes again. I’ll give it to Christmas. Most superheroes have a specific superpower. The Flash has tremendous speed, Spider-Man can climb walls and The Hulk can turn green and split his pants when angry. What, I wondered, was the superpower of Marvel’s new hero The Black Panther?
The movie was released last year and is one of the highest grossing films of all time. I watched it last week to find out his superpower.
Turns out that the Black Panther has the remarkable ability to turn unimaginative and pedestrian superhero drivel into Oscars! Who’d have thunk it?