Heartbreaking
‘I don’t want to leave my kids... it’s like they’re grieving my death before I’m gone...’
Mum-of-four Stacey, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer
AWashington mumof-four has told of her heartache at watching her family “grieve for her death before she’s gone” after receiving devastating terminal cancer diagnosis.
At 35, Stacey Pentland was happy, content and the fittest she had ever been with the rest of her life ahead of her.
But the mother-of-four’s world was turned upside down after doctors diagnosed her with terminal cancer, leaving her terrified at the prospect of her children growing up without their mum.
Now, the barber has told her story in the hope that it may stop another family going through this unbearable heartbreak.
Just over three weeks ago, Stacey suffered from a sharp pain in her shoulder which she thought was a trapped nerve.
But that night she woke up and her stomach was in agony. After calling 101, she was taken to the Royal Victoria Infirmary in an ambulance.
When her blood test results came back, the adoring mum, who moved from Washington to Newcastle five years ago, was rushed in for an MRI scan before doctors gave her the devastating news that she had cancer.
“I was unbelievably healthy, I was probably at the best point of my life. I was so content and happy,” said Stacey who is mum to Chloe, 19, Sophie, 17, Geordie, 13, and Anthony (AJ) 11.
“I just thought this can’t be happening. At first they didn’t tell me how severe it was.
“A day later they said ‘I’m sorry but it’s terminal – there’s nothing we can do other than control it’.
“I didn’t have any family with me, I had to break the news to my mam and my kids. It’s the hardest thing in the world.
“I spoke to my best friend, Cheryle Maughan, first – she had just been through cancer. I couldn’t imagine doing this without her, she helped me tell my mam and dad.
“I’m 35-years-old, in the space of hours my whole life is being taken away from me and my kids.
The cancer had developed in her rectum and spread to her bowel, stomach, lungs and lymph nodes.
Now doctors hope that, if Stacey responds well to chemotherapy, she may live up to 36 months with her children.
“I asked how long have I got left and the doctor told me ‘I’m not going to put a time on your life. Every organ in your body is working to 100% function’ which is so unusual,” said Stacey, who grew up in Washington.
“They normally wouldn’t offer chemotherapy but because of my age and my children they’ve given me this opportunity – if my body takes to it.
“I don’t want to leave my kids – I’m hoping and praying I’ve got 36 months or longer with them .”
And because of the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic and the social distancing measures in place, the 35-year-old had to receive the most difficult news of her life alone.
Instead, her family came to visit her at the Freeman Hospital, in Newcastle, where she was able to meet them outside.
Stacey, who attended Donwell Primary School and Usworth Secondary School in Washington, has described the moment, while she and her mam were dressed in full PPE, as she fell into her arms and broke down.
“I just dropped into my mam’s arms, I felt so guilty,” said Stacey.
“I don’t care that I’m going to lose my hair. They can take every limb away from me, as long as I have my head and my heart, I don’t want my children to have a day without me.”
In just over three weeks, Stacey has gone from not showing any symptoms to being in excruciating pain and needing an array of medication. She’s due to start chemotherapy at the start of next month.
The kind and caring mother has thanked the incredible doctors, surgeons and nurses at the Freeman Hospital for the support and compassion during the most heartbreaking times.
“The empathy and support that the doctors and nurses hold – that’s what the world needs,” said Stacey.
“I’ve got so much to be thankful for, I have had so much love and beauty in my life.
“It’s so hard to know my family are hurting. I’m hurting more for them.
“My children have got to live with this for the rest of their lives.”
Now Stacey is encouraging anyone who may show any kind of symptoms to get checked out. Unfortunately, she showed very few symptoms and had blamed “toilet troubles” in the past on irritable bowel syndrome.
Stacey’s hometown of Washington has rallied to support her and have been raising funds so she can make unforgettable memories for her four children during the precious time she has left. More than £1,500 has already been raised to support Stacey and her family by shopkeeper Bob Singh, his dedicated team of volunteers and the Washington community.
The team have been raffling prizes and appealing for donations in the Barmston Nisa Store to support Stacey – and two other important causes.
Shop worker, Lisa Laws, who is also a mum-of-four, has bought a three-litre bottle of vodka worth £250 to be raffled – with all the funds being raised for Stacey and her family.
“I would never want anybody to go through this. It's the most heartbreaking thing I have ever experienced,” said Stacey. “I’ve seen so much love and support – it’s just absolutely unreal. There’s some absolutely, amazing, unreal people in the world. If everyone was the same as Bob Singh – the world would be a much better place.”