My ex-partner is having our son - what rights do I have?
Ihave recently split up with my partner, who is five months pregnant with my son. We are not in a good place and every conversation I have with her ends up in an argument.
Iamworriedthatsheissoangry with me that she will not let me see the baby once he is born. Iamalsoworriedthatshewon’t let me be involved in any important decisions about his care. What rights do I have?
In terms of spending time withyourchild,thestartingpoint should always be negotiation and thereforeitisalwayspreferableto try and make arrangements between yourselves before considering any court action.
You have however indicated that previous conversations with your ex-partner have not ended cordially and therefore any constructive conversations may be unsuccessful. You may therefore wish to instruct a solicitor to attempttonegotiateonyourbehalf.
Ifthisisunsuccessful,youmay be able to apply to the court for a ChildArrangementsOrder(CAO).
Mediationshouldusuallybeattempted first unless the parties are exempt from attending – your solicitorwilldiscussthiswithyou.
CAO’s regulate who a child is to live with and with whom they are to spend time with. The judge will consider all the issues and then make a decision about contact which is in the best interests of your son.
Inrespectofmakingdecisions about your son’s care, this will depend upon whether or not you obtain Parental Responsibility (PR) for him. PR is the term used to refer to the rights and responsibilities that a parent has for a child – for example, the right to be consulted about any medical treatment which your son might receive.
Mothers automatically obtain PRforachildtheyhavegivenbirth to.
The situation is different for fathers. You have not clarified whether or not you are married to your ex-partner in your letter.
This is a very important distinction, as married fathers automatically obtain PR as there is a presumption that the baby is theirs.
If you are not married, there is nosuchpresumption.Inthesecircumstances,youcanobtainPRby having your name placed on your son’s birth certificate.
Ifyourex-partnerrefuses,your solicitor can negotiate and draft a PRagreementforyoubothtosign.
Ifnoagreementisreached,the court can be asked to grant a Parental Responsibility Order during the CAO proceedings.