Dennis is not a menace

Sir, I read the headline story in last week’s Arran Banner entitled ‘Action planned on the motorhomes menace’ with interest. The dictionary definition of ‘menace’ is ‘a threat or a danger’.

I’m a motorhome driver myself so I’ve thought about the possible reasons why I may be classed as a menace. Too large and slow? Nope, there are many much larger vehicles on our roads (tractors, buses, lorries) and others about the same size (ambulances, vans).

Maybe I’m too fast then? I can honestly say that I have never done any doughnuts in my motorhome.

Am I badly behaved or rude? Nope, I don’t usually require a police presence. Ironically, at a time when all the public toilets are about to close, I will be the only one on the road who will have his own facility, surely a bonus.

Do I not contribute? I always shop locally, and regularly eat out and buy fuel when touring.

Should I not be on the road at all? Nope, I paid my road tax (twice).

Lastly, don’t forget that, when all the other accommodation is full, I provide my own, another bonus.

Visit Arran’s stated aim is to ‘move Arran towards becoming an all year round world class tourist destination’. I feel that this aim should now be appended by ‘... apart from for motorhomes and their occupants (menaces) ... oh, and cyclists (we don’t like them either) ... and possibly caravans too’.

When we start picking and choosing who we welcome, we stop being a tourist destination with any ‘class’ whatsoever.

The problem is simply that increased vehicle numbers (mostly cars) have led to congestion on our roads and our infrastructure is inadequate.

We shouldn’t let this problem lead to misplacing the blame onto motorhomes and discriminating against people like me.

In the meantime, I’m changing my name to ‘Dennis’ Yours, David Black, Whiting Bay.