Could you be a sandwich artist? Or how about a ‘busser’ at a city pub?
SIMON MEECHAN takes a look at some of the weird and wonderful descriptions of jobs on offer
DO Subway employees have to apply for their job by sending in a portfolio of their finest sandwich creations?
You’d think, maybe, due to their 21st-century job title – nowadays you have to be a “sandwich artist” to put together a £3 lunch.
Not that there’s anything wrong with working in Subway, or any sandwich shop – but I’d be curious to find out what the Turner Prize’s judging committee thinks of a meatball marinara.
Then again, last year, an 18ft sculpture of a man’s bare backside was among the Turner nominees.
We decided to trawl the job listings for the strangest and silliest job titles we could find – although there’s nothing wrong with the jobs themselves. ■■For more jobs across the North East, visit www. fish4.co.uk
SANDWICH ARTIST – SUBWAY, CHESTER-LE-STREET AND VARIOUS
www.indeed.co.uk/cmp/Subway/jobs Paper, canvas and clay are all legitimate media for an artist. And, in 2017, so is Italian herb and cheese. The “sandwich artist” looks here to stay.
For years, degree-qualified engineers have complained that their job title isn’t protected and can be appropriated by people who install your internet connection.
Well, imagine how the struggling water colourist feels to see so many professional “artists” working in high street sandwich shops.
COLD-BLOODED AND SPINELESS OFFICER – DURHAM COUNTY COUNCIL, DURHAM
www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/ how-would-you-like-your-12574492
Yes, Durham County Council really did advertise a vacancy to find a cold-blooded and spineless officer.
No, it’s not the person who puts your child in the wrong school – the £29,033 to £32,164 role was for someone to work with creepy crawlies.
It got our attention though, so really it’s Durham County Council’s PR team having the last laugh.
FEARLESS TELEPHONE APPOINTMENT MAKER – COPERNICUS INTERNATIONAL CONSULTING, NEWCASTLE
www.indeed.co.uk/cmp/Copernicus-InternationalConsulting-Ltd 1. Find fearless telephones. 2. Make appointments with them. The job is actually a work from home role where you set up meetings with clients. Presumably, very, very scary ones.
BIKE RIDER – PIZZA HUT, SOUTH SHIELDS
www.indeed.co.uk
The official term for delivery driver implies absolutely nothing about taking pizzas to people’s homes.
It just suggests you get to whizz about on a bike at your own leisure.
The scooter comes with the job mind. Decent.
BUSSER – THE ALCHEMIST, NEWCASTLE
Glass collector/table clearer. We’re not part of America . . . yet.