Here comes the summer... and as usual, I’m completely unprepared for it
IT’S about this time of year that I experience The Panic. That somehow, even though it was Christmas only a couple of weeks ago, the summer holidays are looming. And just when I was at risk of getting on top of the to-do list, a rush of entries erupts like Krakatoa.
The difference between this break and the festive season is that you’re warned about the latter from September onwards – thanks to the media, the shops and your kids waving the Argos catalogue in front of your face. You just can’t miss it.
The summer holidays are different. If you’re a working parent like me, you have a vague awareness that those long weeks are on the horizon and that there’s lots to be done beforehand.
But suddenly, you spot a ‘Best Teacher’ mug on sale in John Lewis and freeze because it’s already the start of July and you’ve done nothing.
So you pull on your Lycra and go into Supermum mode – i.e. write a mega to-do list to be crossed off at lightning speed.
Mine looks something like this… Buy presents for teacher x 3. And a really good present for out-going head, because she was dedicated, nice and lives close enough that there’s a high chance of bumping into her post-retirement. Attempt to cram six weeks of work into five days because likelihood of achieving anything once the kids have broken up is minimal. Organise cricket club to stop kids getting so bored that they start trying to invent new
and unique ways of killing one other.
Persuade child 1 that HE WILL LOVE cricket club and, no, he can’t instead spend every day alone at home on the X-Box, lunching on dry breakfast cereal.
Persuade child 2 that it IS possible to attend cricket club without brand new pads, helmet, batting gloves and bag.
Replace Cadbury’s Roses after child 2 announces teacher is allergic to nuts. Replace bottle of Merlot after child 1 announces teacher is teetotal.
Purchase sandals x 3 to avoid last year’s disaster when you left it so late that the only footwear left in the shops was so expensive it would’ve been cheaper to deck them out in Jimmy Choos.
Rearrange diary to attend leavers’ service, end-of-term assembly, prize-giving, sports awards night and make sure you’re available to taxi children to various school discos. Do not let yourself fall into the misapprehension that you have your own life.
Have a lie down while you still can. Because come the last day of term, there will be no chance.
Jane Costello will be writing as ‘Catherine Isaac’ for her upcoming novel, You, Me, Everything.