Philosophically speaking, folks
WHAT would a Geordie self help book be called? Think and Grow Radge? How to Win Bingo and Influence People? Or perhaps, The Power of Nowt?
I ask because I’ve been a bit deep and philosophical of late. Maybe it’s the weather (yellow alert with a chance of amber) middle age? the New Year?
Perhaps it’s a festive technology overload and I’m seeking something real - or maybe I always have been a wannabe Geordie guru!
Whatever the cause, I’m really into a bunch of radgies called the Stoics - I think they must have had North East blood!
Philosophy? I hear groaned ‘givowwers’ all over the region, yet whether we admit it or not, we all have a take on life that guides us.
Indeed, the admirable regional predilection to mutter ‘givowwer’ or ’hadaway’ at life’s cruelly hoyed half bricks surely is a philosophy.
To be fair though, a lot of the time we’re completely unaware of our inner (North East-pointing) compass: it’s like a default programme running in the background like a Jimmy Nail LP.
So you don’t have to be some ancient philosopher like Confucius or a university eggheed to qualify as a sage - I found this when reading me aforementioned book on stoic philosophy - in essence, it’s basically what my canny old grandad told me.
Mind you, I always thought Epictetus was a funny name for a bloke from Gateshead... Seriously though, this book I’m reading basically tells of how the author - a bloke called James Bond Stockdale (aye - really!) used Stoic mental disciplines to remain ‘captain of his own ship’ through years of torture and imprisonment after being shot down over Vietnam.
I obviously can’t begin to equate a cancelled gig, unexpected garage bill or off-his-heed radgie on the Metro to years in a Viet Cong prison - but the principles still apply.
The word Stoic is often used to describe a person who suffers without complaint, but my recent reading suggests it’s much more.
Back to me Geordie guru grandad: “If it isn’t working, it’s ney good, so divvn’t diy it” is a basic Stoic approach to philosophy - it’s gotta work in everyday life.
They rightly (in my opinion) believed much of the everyday stuff that rattles us - be it late Metros, vacuous boy bands, errant wheelie bins, bus stop radgies, deceptive single layer plastic packaging inside shortbread tins, toxic office gossips, torturous Toon takeovers or even the weather, was external and lay beyond our control.
What we can control, however, are our inner thoughts.
Me grandad, in true North East tradition, used to try his utmost face life’s hardships with dignity.
This was apparently a very Stoic thing to do as few outside forces can beat us up like our own pain, shame or self judgement.
Being able to look yourself in the mirror might mean you endure some heated run-ins, but not asserting yourself - whilst avoiding a few short term bruises - could bring a lifetime of regret, pain and shame. I’ll finish with more of my Stoic grandad’s pearls: “When somebody swings a hammer at ye , divvn’t stop it with your heed.”
“Iif your bus is gannin’ through Hell, divvn’t open the doors and geroff .... ” And: “If hard work really was a privilege, the rich would hev took it off us!”
As well as appearing at the Chronicle Sunshine fund event at the Stand Comedy Club on January 22, Mike is hosting his own comedy club evening at Whickham Glebe Sports Club on Saturday, February 24, featuring Radio Newcastle’s Alfie Joey along with Cal Halbert AKA ‘The Mimic Men’ as seen on Britain’s Got Talent.