I would fight to the death to make sure some of my early comedy tapes never see the light of day
Lucy Porter tells MARION McMULLEN why her Mary Berry punch bag was a step too far
Your new stand-up comedy show Choose Your Battles was a smash hit at the Edinburgh Fringe. Has it changed much for the UK tour? IN the early stages of the show I had punch bags on stage with various heads on them like Nigel Farage and Mary Berry that people could come up and punch... but no-one wanted to punch Mary Berry. In fact, people found the very thought distressing.
I took the whole thing off the show in the end. I felt I didn’t want to encourage violence. (Laughs) The punch bags are now at home and being used by my children. The show is about dealing with arguments and confrontation. Have you come to any conclusions? I AM conflict adverse and the show has been therapeutic to me and, most importantly, I think I and the audience feel much better at the end.
I think social media is both a brilliant thing and a terrible thing. It makes some aspects of human nature more apparent. All the shouting and fury.
Someone says something bad about me on Twitter and I’m furious and then my husband Justin points out: ‘They’ve got 11 followers. They are talking to 11 people.’ You talk in the show about your son refusing to go to a wedding unless he could dress like the Incredible Hulk. Is that still a problem? (LAUGHS) It’s a constant battle with our two. Emily is seven and John is six and they want to be dressed up in some way that is not normal clothing. I quite often have Peppa Pig or Captain America coming out with me. I remember once going to a big meeting with an iPad blaring out Peppa Pig as I was trying to negotiate a contract. You’ve also become a TV quiz queen with Pointless and The Chase and you achieved the highest ever score on Celebrity Mastermind. Have you always been good at quiz questions? THEY have been some of the highlights of my career... and they are not even comedy.
Meeting John Humphrys and sitting in the big black Mastermind chair was as thrilling as performing in a theatre and making 2,000 people laugh.
Comedy is always my first love but I love quizzing. My dad was obsessed with quizzing and at mealtimes we were not allowed pudding unless we answered questions. I do the TV quizzes now and keep thinking I’m going to get Arctic roll or Angel Delight at the end of it. Is there a TV quiz you would still like to win? POINTLESS still eludes me. I got through to the final with comedian Ed Byrne and I was so gutted that we didn’t win that I went back with Rob Deering and we were knocked out in the first round. I’ll just have to keep on doing it. There are still mountains to climb.
I’ve never done Eggheads and they always keep coming up with new formats for TV quizzes...
I turn down a lot of things, but I will never turn down a quiz. It’s my new hobby. Where do you keep your trophies? WE have a nauseating shelf at home and keep them hidden away there. Justin has trophies for acting and I have all my quizzing trophies ... and some for comedy as well. What do you enjoy watching on TV at the moment? QUIZ shows obviously and a lot of kids TV. I hardly watch anything else with the children.
Hey Duggee is a highlight. He’s the new Peppa Pig for under-5s on CBeebies. There’s also Odd Squad. The kids will put it on and leave the room to do something else and I’ll carry on watching it.
I also enjoy true crime documentaries on Netflix. That probably says something about my personality. Have your children seen any of your early comedy work? I HAVE old VHS tapes. My mother, bless her, catalogues and archives all my stuff. Some I would fight to the death to make sure they never see the light of day.
There are certain TV pilots including one where I’m dressed as a schoolgirl and there’s an early appearance on a Russ Abbot Christmas Madhouse that is not finding it’s way onto the internet while there is breath in my body.
However, I find as I am getting older I care less. The kids will be mortified when they get to see what their mum has done. You’ve acted as well. What do you enjoy more?
I’m no Meryl Streep or Judi Dench. Acting is not really my bag... Lucy feels more comfortable doing stand up (or quizzes)
I PLAYED Nurse Finn in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest on stage with Christian Slater, but, if I’m being completely honest, I’m happiest playing stand up.
I’m no Meryl Streep or Judi Dench. Acting is not really my bag.
I’m keen to develop my writing and I’m looking forward to the tour. (Laughs) It’s a break for me from thinking about child care. Go to lucyporter.co.uk for Choose Your Battles tour dates.