It turns out that bringing up our twins is very much like Polar exploration
DOUBLE TROUBLE FOR A FIRST-TIME DAD OF TWINS
IT’S been a few weeks now, and I’d hate to speak too soon, but I think we’ve cracked this parenthood business.
Both Victoria and I have sacrificed everything remotely enjoyable in our lives, so we can care for a couple of babies, who don’t appreciate it.
At first, it was a struggle because we both had memories of the ‘good old days’.
There’s no gentle transition period involving children, nor is there a try-before-you-buy option, or indeed a refund if you return them. One minute, the house is tidy and quiet, the next it’s messy and loud with some demanding babies in it.
I can still recall September 2017 when I got home from work, made dinner, drank some wine, watched telly and went to bed reading a book about raising perfect twins.
Keith Richards would be disappointed with a night of Stranger Things on Netflix and a bottle of beer but it was fine for me.
This was a time of excitement, happiness and drama because we didn’t know any better.
Sometimes, I’d go on a bike ride, take a trip to the pub that hadn’t been planned a month in advance or maybe just read a paper.
Life has changed in so many ways but ‘am I happier now than I was back them?’.
‘Of course’, Victoria might say and then I might reply ‘whatever happiness means’, in
a similar way to Prince Charles when asked if he was in love with Diana.
Prince Charles was making a good although badly timed, somewhat insensitive and ill-advised point about human emotions. It’s never that simple. My happiness is akin to that of Sir Edmund Hillary trekking across the South Pole.
Yes, he’s tired, hungry and annoyed he forgot to buy more nappies but he knows it’ll be over soon and he’ll have accomplished something. Granted, at this moment in time, he’s not sure why he signed up to this ridiculous challenge because his life, if a bit boring, was mostly alright really.
But without adventure, we’d never discover anything. If Captain Cook hadn’t set off on HMS Endeavour Australia would still be a mystery.
And although some might argue it would save us from having to listen to people going on about their gap year, which they spent living on a beach with the indigenous people, it would also mean we would never have experienced the boomerang or Neighbours.
Our own voyage of discovery has long since sailed and there’s no turning back despite a lack of planning, fresh fruit and finance.
We’re now on course for our ultimate destination... or boarding school, as it’s known.