It’s all about you, baby
TV presenter and mind coach ANNA WILLIAMSON shares her top tips for new parents
ITHINK we’re all agreed that, although new babies are incredibly cute, they can also be a bit scary… they’re just so little, and wobbly… and well, small! Pretty much every new parent finds those initial few days and weeks upon entering ‘baby-ville’ more than just a little bit overwhelming. And, guess what, if this is ringing a bell with you, then you are totally and utterly normal.
It’s quite natural and understandable to feel rather clueless as you adjust to being a responsible parent – eek – is there a more terrifying label?
Every new mum and dad pretty much goes through the same motions… a wonderful combination of all-consuming elation and sheer panic, all rolled into one.
Being honest and open about your thoughts and feelings are key to keeping well, happy and content in your new role. Sleepless nights, learning how to change a nappy, and juggling those rampaging hormones can take some getting used to, so do be sure to offload and share how you’re getting on with each other and/or a health professional. And remember, being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding job you’ll ever do, so it’s ok not to love it ALL the time.
Here are some of my top tips on coping with a new baby in those first few crazy weeks.
TAKE THE ADVICE-GIVERS WITH A PINCH OF SALT
THE minute you announce you’re in the family way, is the minute you will be inundated with (mostly unwanted) advice.
People mean well but it can be more than a little overwhelming to deal with the, often conflicting, advice. Your baby is completely unique, and you will learn to be the parent you want to be as your little family evolves together.
Sure, take on board the odd handy hint and tip – if you find it works for you – but essentially be confident in your own abilities.
As long as you give your new baby love, cuddles and lots of milk, you can’t go far wrong.
IT TAKES TIME
NOBODY becomes the perfect parent over night. Your new baby is effectively a stranger, a lovely cute snuggly little stranger, but still, a brand new unpredictable little person who you don’t yet know.
Allow yourself to get to know your baba, and his or her little quirks, likes and dislikes. Time is so important, and it’s the one thing that can’t and shouldn’t be rushed.
TAKE TURNS
IF you’re in a couple, it’s important to give each other time ‘off’ – particularly mum if she is exclusively breast feeding.
You’ll both most probably be knackered in the early weeks, so perhaps think about when you can give each other some ‘me time’ – even half an hour or so can be hugely effective – to do something of choice.
A bath or shower, watch some TV uninterrupted, a snooze… whatever it might be, work out when and how you can do some ‘baby shift work’ to allow the other some chill time to regroup.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
IT’S likely your emotions will be all over the place, after all, you’ve just welcomed the most amazing little being into the world, and the best bit… they’re all yours.
You might experience highs, and lows, excitement and worry, happiness and anxiety… it’s completely normal and natural to go through a cocktail of emotions, and dads are just as likely as mums to feel as though they’ve been put through the wringer emotionally, mentally and physically.
Make sure you talk to each other, friends, family and health professionals to let them know how you’re feeling and be kind to yourself as you let yourself adjust.
BOND WITH BABY
IT can sometimes feel as though you don’t get a look in with your new baby, what with the reams of well wishers in the early days and weeks.
But it’s vitally important for you to get involved and bond with baby as much possible. Try lying on the bed or sofa with your little one, try skin on skin too, and experiment with making facial expressions, sticking your tongue out for baby to copy, and looking into his/her eyes – this will really help in creating a loving bond. Whatever mum does, dad should do too where possible… cuddles, nappy changing, bath time and winding… just get stuck in and enjoy being part of the new parent club. BREAKING Mum and Dad: The Insider’s Guide to Parenting Anxiety by Anna Williamson is published by Green Tree, priced £12.99 at amazon.co.uk