BEST OF THE REST
THE GREAT CELEBRITY BAKE OFF Channel 4, 8pm
“MY great, great grandfather invented the Digestive biscuit,” announces Made In Chelsea’s Jamie Laing with pride. Baking is in his blood, but he admits he had “never touched flour” until a few days earlier, when presumably he decided to have a practise run.
There’s an almost admirable lack of talent in the tent as another four celebs roll up their sleeves for Stand Up To Cancer. “I’ve never baked, ever,” says singer Ella Eyre.
Musical comedian Tim Minchin adds: “I’m generally just making it up,” while leader of the Scottish Conservative party, Ruth Davidson, admits she would have run a mile if this wasn’t for charity.
But onwards and they must make loaf cakes (“moist and light, not a great brick” warns Prue), a technical of Tiramisu sandwich biscuits, then a meringue tower showstopper.
One baker inspires Paul Hollywood to say the immortal words: “That’s got to be the worst cake that’s ever been baked in the tent.”
GREAT INDIAN RAILWAY JOURNEYS BBC2, 8pm
EVER resplendent in his trademark bright chinos, dazzling shirts and one of an admirable collection of hats, Michael Portillo is back and this time he’s in India.
He has his trusty 100-year-old Bradshaw’s Handbook, which he peers into at all times. At one point he does this while on a rickshaw and couldn’t look more like a British tourist if he tried – he just needs a big camera round his neck and a spot of sunburn.
Michael is embarking on a rail journey from Amritsar to Shimla, taking in everything from awesome temples and Bhangra dancing to the foothills of the Himalayas. You’ll see him feeding an elephant and bathing in rose petals.
But heaven has truly been sent for Michael when he has a Kurta pyjama made to measure for him in one of Punjab’s biggest cloth markets.
“Bright colours please, don’t bother with the dull ones!” he says. And the tailor does not disappoint.