Finding the courage to face the future
COUPLE TURN THEIR GRIEF INTO SUPPORT FOR OTHER FAMILIES
PARENTS Andy and Gemma Race suffered unimaginable heartbreak when their baby girl was delivered stillborn.
Fearne Race was born at the Royal Victoria Infirmary (RVI) in Newcastle last November after 25 weeks, weighing only 720 grams.
Months on from their heartbreaking loss, Andy and Gemma, from Walker, Newcastle, have emotionally opened up on their traumatic experience and their attempts to help other parents suffering similar experiences.
It was on November 2 that mum Gemma realised Fearne was not kicking as usual at 6am and, after raising her concerns, a visiting midwife struggled to find a heartbeat.
Worried Gemma was rushed to the RVI, where she and Andy were quickly delivered the devastating news their unborn daughter had died.
Andy, 33, said: “There was no warning, it literally came out of nowhere. It was horrible.”
But the couple’s nightmare was far from over. Gemma was advised to take a tablet to induce labour, and had to wait 48 hours to return and give birth.
The room used for stillborn deliveries was unavailable, which meant Gemma had to endure her 12-hour ordeal surrounded by expectant mothers. Andy added: “Finding out the news and then having to wait 48 hours to give birth knowing Fearne was dead – it was horrible.
“The days just went really slowly. There was nothing anyone could do and I found it cruel. Gemma had to give birth in the same ward as the other expectant mothers, which was tough. They were the worst 48 hours of our lives.”
Fearne was blessed shortly after birth by a chaplain.
Months on from the tragedy, Andy has spoken of the continuing impact of the unexpected loss on the family and the strength the couple have gained from their 14-month-old son Bobby.
He said: “We have good days and bad days, the tragedy of losing a child has put a massive strain on us as a family. We were lucky enough to have a lit-
tle boy to give us something to live for. Others are not so lucky and they might think their lives are over.
“Bobby obviously doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. But he’s been a vital part of us coming out the other end and holding us together.”
Andy and Gemma have now channelled the pain of their experience into a source of strength for others by launching website 4Fearne.
The website reflects the couple’s inspiring desire to live life to the full in the wake of their tragedy, as well as their fundraising drive to thank charity 4Louis for their support.
The grieving parents received a free memory box from the charity, which allowed Andy and Gemma to record precious memories with Fearne.
Clay imprints were taken of her hands and feet, and the couple were also able to save a lock of their daughter’s hair.
Charity 4Louis provides free memory boxes to families who suffer a stillbirth or neonatal death, and Andy says Fearne’s website is intended to help give other parents the same opportunities. He said: “There’s no way we would have thought of taking hand and footprints as well as pictures at that time.
“Everything in the box, we would not think to have done ourselves. But now it’s one of our most treasured possessions. People say they have never heard of the charity before and therefore would not have thought to have donate to it. We really want to raise awareness for them.”
The 4Fearne website and fundraising page has so far raised more than £2,700, and parents Andy and Gemma have set themselves a target of £10,000.
Andy added: “Our website can give us the drive when we are feeling down.
“We want to show life can go on and you can still live your dreams.”
To find out more about Fearne’s story or to make a donation through the website, visit www.4fearne.org.