THEY SAID WHAT?

“Pippa was born with a silver spoon and married into a canteen of cutlery” Dickie Arbiter, the Queen’s former spokesman, wonders why the Duchess of Cambridge’s sister continues to get so much publicity.

“Being cast in this role as a quadriplegic really came down to a business decision. As actors we are asked to play other people. If I, as a wealthy, straight, older person, does that mean I can’t play a person who is not wealthy, or I can’t play a homosexual?” Actor Bryan Cranston defends playing a quadriplegic in a new film amid protests that the role should have gone to a disabled actor.

“If I could go back to my younger self I’d say: ‘Stop thinking you’re fat, because when you’re 50 you’ll really know what fat is.’ I spent a stupid amount of time thinking I was overweight, but now I’d eat my own leg off for that body. What a waste of energy that was” Cold Feet star Fay Ripley.

“Someone is pumping a balloon up in me. I don’t quite understand it. I eat quite well but I’m just getting fatter and fatter. I didn’t want to quit smoking. No good comes of quitting” Broadcaster Jeremy Clarkson on giving up smoking.

“I like frogs. I am not crazy about their legs in a buffet, but I like their casual approach to life” Broadcaster Sandi Toksvig.

“I’ve never been gung-ho. Honestly, never have been. I’m naturally quite cautious. I’m a risk-taker and therefore I am cautious, if that makes sense? I fly helicopters, I’ve ridden motorcycles for 33 years, so I am naturally cautious” The Grand Tour driver, accident-prone Richard Hammond. “How many times do you need to be told?” Coleen Rooney berates her footballing husband Wayne Rooney after his arrest at Washington’s Dulles Airport for intoxication and swearing.

“I’ve had my fair share of vegans go through my restaurants and put laptops showing slaughter in front of kids as they’re sucking their spaghetti Bolognese. It’s kind of like vegan terrorism” TV chef Jamie Oliver.

“As a lifelong tubby person who had the brass neck to end up on the television, I can confirm that Nigella Lawson is right. The hatred of fat has reached epidemic proportions. I have, in my time, been called, ‘the woman who ate her audience’ and ‘the person with the perfect figure for radio”’ - Vanessa Feltz.

“People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person, but it doesn’t. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare” Jo Brand.