If you think you might be a bit stupid, don’t waste my time
Jeremy Clarkson tells us what it takes to win, as Who Wants to be a Millionaire? returns
Intelligence is the ability to look at point A and point B and then make an opinion out of those two things. I know lots of people who know a lot of things but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re intelligent ....
AFTER the hit drama Quiz starring Michael Sheen and Matthew Macfayden was screened last month, fans will be watching the new series of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? with renewed interest.
Jeremy Clarkson returns as host the show is broadcast over six consecutive nights this week.
And as family and friends enjoy quizzes over Zoom while social distancing, this is perfect lockdown viewing.
Here, Jeremy, 60, tells us what he has learned from his two years fronting the show, and who he’d like to play him if there was a future series of Quiz ....
What can viewers look forward to this series?
IT’S well worth watching. There are some really good, uplifting moments this series. When you watch someone who is doing really well, and you feel deserves the money, I’m just willing them on.
What do you think are the qualities that make a good Millionaire contestant?
A PHOTOGRAPHIC memory seems to be the most important thing. You have to be able to look at the dates of every King and Queen and be able to remember them. Rather than allow it to dribble out of the chin! That would be a very useful attribute to have.
And if you can take some risks as well?
WELL, if you know things then you don’t have to take risks. But risk taking makes you popular on television.
How much information that you come across on the show, do you think you retain?
WELL, I know the Yellow Pages has ceased production, but I can’t remember the year! It’s useless information that I retain because I can’t remember the important bit of it.
Have you become more intelligent? KNOWING things doesn’t make you intelligent. You can know nothing at all, a dolphin knows nothing at all and is quite intelligent. Intelligence is the ability to look at point A and point B and then make an opinion out of those two things.
That is what makes you intelligent! Knowing when the Battle of Agincourt was doesn’t make you intelligent but knowing the effects of the Battle of Agincourt does.
I know lots of people who know a lot of things but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re intelligent.
What do you think is the most difficult part of your role?
THE usual boring television stuff, remembering not to dribble! Simple things like that.
I think television presenters have a particularly easy ride, I don’t think we have any difficult bits.
Oh, actually, I know what is difficult for me, I’ve never worked with an autocue and I can’t read it from a long way away because of my failing eyesight!
What other quizzes do you enjoy watching?
BBC’S Pointless. It’s a nicely placed gameshow. If you’re watching it with a friend or family, you’ve got time like you have on Millionaire to discuss amongst yourselves what you think the answer is.
That is the cleverness of it.
Was it nice having Richard [Osman] on the show?
YES. He is a funny man, Richard.
What is the best advice you could give to someone who is hoping to come and play the game?
DON’T waste my time! If you think you might be a bit stupid, just don’t bother making the phone call.
Don’t waste my time, don’t waste the viewers’ time and don’t waste our time.
We’re looking for great contestants with great stories who we want to get behind and we want them to do well. Everybody likes to see somebody they like have good fortune. That is all we want. Likeable people who know lots of stuff!
ITV aired drama Quiz recently, if they made a second series of the drama, who would you like to play you?
WELL, it would have to be [Michael] Sheen. I mean, he can play anyone. He’s been Brian Clough, now Chris Tarrant.
He’s been David Frost and he’s been a robot in Passengers. I’ve got a huge amount of time for his abilities. I think he could play me very easily. He’s a chameleon.
In these unprecedented times, how are you spending your time?
I’M farming. Getting up at 6am and driving tractors until the sun goes down. And then continuing to drive them as they’ve got headlights! I’m creating a new wetlands area for insects and lizards and voles.
But I’ve got a thousand acres to farm. Unfortunately I can’t just sit and watch the insects. But I will say, my potatoes are very lovely and my broad beans will be ready soon.