Boris and his battle against Brits’ bulge

WHILE the former obese PM proudly portrays his new slimline self, buoyant Boris now spearheads a nationwide campaign commanding everyone to reduce their expanding waistlines.

The health kick won’t be too well received in Geordieland, where pubs and clubs recently returned to a rapturous welcome, so can blustering Boris really expect North East drinkers to suddenly divorce themselves from their reincarnated pints at their beloved local?

Prominent paunches are currently commonplace, but all round revenue’s desperately needed.

Adding insult to injury, the staple Friday fish and chip “diet” needs to be reduced by

more than a few scraps, but even with smaller cod it will still grace the table.

Regardless of the slimming mania, it’s all right for Boris and his Cabinet cronies to present the perils of obesity when we’ve been imprisoned for weeks like monks in a monastery.

The spotlight also focuses upon overweight children, so their favourite Mars, Twix and Bounty bars may soon be out of bounds, but I hastily suggest greatly reduced sugar in ALL sweets.

McDonald’s aren’t exactly for weight-watchers, but since being let out of lockdown there’s endless queues at all drive-through outlets, while the double-decker hamburger with trimmings more than whets the palate.

The fashion industry has recently faltered, but with a new slimline Britain it could again prosper, as young and old, could all need new clothes!

CHRIS ROBINSON, Gosforth