Nurse Helen lit up so many lives
THE friend of a nurse and mum-of-three who died two months after being diagnosed with cancer has paid tribute to her ahead of a memorial event to help people remember their loved ones at Christmas.
St Oswald’s Hospice’s annual Light Up a Light service is going virtual this year, and the charity is encouraging people to light candles in their windows from 7pm on Sunday. People across the North East will be taking part in memory of a loved one who has died during the pandemic, many of whom have struggled with grief due to the restrictions.
Among them is Sandra Kay, whose close friend and colleague Helen Fenwick died on September 18.
The 51-year-old, from Whitley Bay, was diagnosed with cancer in July of this year and died just two months later at St Oswald’s Hospice, with her family by her side.
A “kind and selfless” nurse who dedicated her career to helping others, Helen worked with Sandra in the Children’s Public Health Team at North Tyneside Council, where she was part of the ‘Healthy4Life’ team. Sandra said: “Helen worked with local children and families to promote and support a healthy lifestyle. She very much practised what she preached and had so much energy and enthusiasm for everything that she did.
“When I received the call from Helen to tell me of her diagnosis, I just remember being overwhelmed by her strength.
“The doctors had explained there was no treatment and palliative care was all they could offer her. There were no tears, no anger, she was so calm and positive and I knew I needed to be there for her and support her however I could.”
Helen didn’t return to work after her diagnosis but Sandra kept in regular contact with her by phone. She said: “I bumped into Helen and her family at a cafe on the beach one day and I was shocked by her weight loss. As a nurse myself, I could clearly see that she was unwell, but she was still smiling. Not long after, I visited Helen at home. We both knew how poorly she was and this would likely be the last time we would see each other.
“Helen answered the door smiling, telling me ‘there’s no tears in this house’ and we spent a wonderful hour together talking about her boys and her family.
“Her oldest son had just got his A-Level results and Helen was delighted he was going to university, although sadly, it would be his auntie rather than his mum who would be helping him move into his room and get him settled in. Leaving that day was so hard.”
Helen’s three boys, Hugh, 13, Ben, 17 and Robbie, 18 and her three sisters, along with Richard, were able to spend time there with her in her final days, before she passed away. Sandra said: “Losing Helen has left such a void in the team, in all of our lives. She was such a wonderfully warm character that everyone enjoyed being around and her positive attitude rubbed off on those who spent time with her.”
Due to Covid restrictions, friends and colleagues were unable to attend Helen’s funeral, and so decided to remember her in other ways, with the council holding a minute’s silence in her memory as her funeral took place. The team are planning to plant a tree in the grounds of the council building as a permanent reminder of their muchloved colleague.
Sandra will be taking part in Light Up a Life at Home, St Oswald’s Christmas remembrance campaign, by lighting a candle in Helen’s memory.