It might soon be time to adopt the appearance of normality
While couple seek the ‘last word’ on Royal split, with tell-all Oprah interview, the Queen quietly practises the values that they preach
“I THINK I’ve put weight on my feet,” I complained to a friend having spent an afternoon trying on some old shoes, an activity which now counts as entertainment.
“No, you’ve just spent too many months in slippers. Your feet have splayed. A bit like flippers.”
She’s right, albeit I could have done with the news being delivered in a kinder voice.
But that’s what happens when the normal rules of society break down in the wake of a pandemic – you find that your stilettos simply become redundant and before you know it you’re eyeing the wide-fit section on Marksie’s website.
It’s a similar sad story with my beloved collection of office skirts and tailored pants. Once upon a time they were my uniform for work, my armour against the day’s meetings and deadlines, lovingly curated over time and half-price French Connection sales.
But for the past year my outfits of choice have revolved around comfy jeans and leggings and now, thanks to the proximity of the biscuit barrel, I have made my peace with elasticated waists for the foreseeable future.
mart office blouses? They hang, unloved, in the wardrobe. Jackets? Unless they are waterproof I have no use for them.
Even my much-loved ensemble of handbags now lie un-used in their dust covers. After all, you can’t get a Tesco shop in your average Radley.
I have also quite forgotten how to apply eye-shadow, have abandoned any pretence at painting my nails (who sees?), and with hairdressers not due to open again for months, I did the unthinkable the other night and took a pair of kitchen scissors to my barnet.
I was aiming for the pixie crop look. What I got was a 1980s troll doll.
Do I care? Not especially. If I now have to wear a hat on my Zoom meetings I shall just tell people the heating is on the blink.
And that’s been quite a revelation, this letting go of my old life – some may say personal care
– and embracing a ‘that’ll do’ mentality.
Lord knows the twin challenges of lockdown and working from home have brought few positives, but not spending Sunday night ironing work clobber and shaving my legs is a blessing.
Sweatshirts and fleeces do not crease. And nobody from work has seen my lower half since March. It will have to stop though. Boris Johnson has produced his much anticipated roadmap out of this chaos and that means I need to think about upping my game a bit.
Face-to-face interaction might once again be possible with friends and workmates.
Which is why I have bought a pair of shoe stretchers.
And why my better half caught me dabbing Chanel No5 behind my ears before departing for the supermarket for the big shop.
A girl’s got to start somewhere.
EVER since their departure from the UK, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been at pains to teach us to demonstrate “empathy and kindness” in all that we do.
As the pandemic took hold, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex began preaching about how we should treat one another from their waterfront mansion in Canada.
In a post shared on their Sussex Royal Instagram account back in March, the couple wrote “How we approach each other and our communities with empathy and kindness is indisputably important right now.
“Over the coming weeks, this will be our guiding principle.”
Their sentiments were noble, and I am sure well-meaning. But over the past year, since their move to an £11 million Californian home, it’s apparent it is one thing to preach, and another to practise.
Hot on the heels of the news the couple were to sit down for a tell-all chat to Oprah Winfrey, so “Meghan could have the final word” over their departure from the UK, the monarchy felt their remaining patronages were no longer compatible with the couple’s Stateside life.
Apparently, Her Majesty had been blindsided by her grandson and his wife’s plans to give a potentially explosive TV interview.
And while the Queen was understanding, it was claimed other family members and senior royal aides were furious.
Her Majesty issued a statement confirming the patronages were to be removed but emphasising Harry and Meghan remained “much-loved members of the royal family”.
The grace with which the monarch spoke was there for all to see and the emotion was evident – to everyone but the Sussexes and their PR flunkies, it seems.
Within minutes – at 4.30am their time – the couple responded.
Their riposte, written in a language you’d expect from a testy teen, was utterly lacking the “empathy and kindness” they said we all needed to show. It also failed to pay respect to the Queen.
God forbid it showed any understanding of the situation they created after deciding they wanted out of public life to pursue their desire to make millions in the States.
“As evidenced by their work over the past year, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex remain committed to their duty and service to the UK and around the world,” the couple said.
“We can all live a life of service. Service is universal.”
Like many of you, I was baffled by what they meant by their “duty and service to the UK”.
Whereas other royal family members have been at the forefront, speaking to our frontline workers, Harry and Meghan have been living in their Montecito mansion.
As they look forward to welcoming a brother or sister for Archie, it would have taken nothing for them to pay tribute to Harry’s grandparents’ life of service to their country.
A simple statement, not a sniping swipe, would have done. Service is not merely jumping on a carefully choreographed Zoom call to spout bland soundbites at star-struck onlookers.
Such actions, by comparison to Harry’s grandparents, father, and even more recently, his brother William are becoming ludicrous.
Eighteen months, Harry and Meghan lasted before wanting out.
Her Majesty has been at it every day for 68 years.
It makes you wonder how the couple dare lecture the Queen about duty.
Service is not merely jumping on a carefully choreographed Zoom call...