ONE LAST THING

We all love jeans but there is so much more to be made of this fabulous fabric

I’ve written before how low the bar is for enjoyment these days, but things reached a new level this week when I danced with a stranger in Tesco’s pet food aisle.

Our local store has started playing piped music. In came Twisting The Night Away and before I knew it me and a woman in a bright yellow mac with an overloaded trolley were throwing shapes by the Pedigree Chum. It quite made my weekend. But if the bar for good times is low, then the one for what passes as conversation is on the floor. With nowhere to go and so little to do, my other half and I have descended into a world of dull.

Top repartee of late has included: ‘This oven glove isn’t as good as the last one we had’

‘I’ve sorted out the spare sheets of bubble wrap’

‘The caulis were on offer so I bought two’

It’s got so bad we now have a little bell which we take in turns to ‘ting’ to signify another stupefyingly boring thing one of us has said to the other.

Trust me, the winter nights are flying by.

1 TOP COAT

You can’t beat a denim jacket, £49, by Khost Clothing at mandco.com

2 I’M WITH THE BAND

Tame lockdown tresses with this Alice band, £17, stories.com

3 BELT UP

This denim dress is the perfect spring frock, £59.99, zara.com

4 BACK IT UP

This front pocket backpack has room for all your essentials, £17, uk.romwe.com

5 BOILER POINT

If you still haven’t tried a denim jumpsuit, now is the time, £44.99, reserved.com

6 BUTTONED-UP STYLE

A classic denim shirt is a must-have, £29.50, marksandspencer.com

7 BUCKET LIST

Go back to the 90s with this bucket hat by Lee x H&M, £9.99, hm.com

8 SKIRT THE ISSUE

Pull-on jersey midi skirt, £36, cottontraders.com

9 CAN YOU SANDAL IT?

Orson quilted sandals, £139, kurtgeiger.com

10 GO WIDE

Ditch the skinnies for flares. Blue jeans, £49.99, shop.mango.com