The Chronicle (South Tyneside and Durham)
‘Picking up the phone will be the best thing you have ever done’
DOMESTIC ABUSERS ARE URGED TO GET HELP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE
PERPETRATORS of domestic abuse can now get help to change their ways before it is too late.
A new programme has been launched to support people in Newcastle who are worried about their behaviour towards a partner or ex-partner.
The Make a Change programme helps people concerned that they are hurting, scaring or controlling their partner to change their behaviour.
Newcastle is the latest area to roll out the service, which is already available in Durham and Sunderland.
Perpetrators of abuse, or anyone who fears they could potentially become a perpetrator, can refer themselves to the programme, which is run by local charities Harbour and Changing Lives.
Lesley Hill, who co-ordinates the programme for Harbour, has told of her hopes that it will help prevent people from becoming victims of abuse.
She said: “It tackles the problem from all angles. I have worked in this field for a lot of years. When I first started all the focus was on the survivors, and rightly so, but that wasn’t addressing the problems.
“I have been delivering domestic abuse programmes since 2005 and a lot of the people we got when I was working with high-risk people may have had three or four victims.
“Something like Make a Change can help people before they reach that point, and from that perspective we are helping more victims.”
And in a direct message to anyone worried about their behaviour, Lesley added: “Just pick up the phone or get on our website, it will be the best thing you have ever done and it will help your current or future relationships.
“And to people at the start of a journey that could lead to serious abuse, they are not necessarily bad people, they have just done some bad things. But they don’t have to be that person.”
Make a Change was developed by domestic abuse charities Respect and Women’s Aid Federation of England, and is funded by the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner for Northumbria, in partnership with Newcastle City Council.
Participants attend a 26-week programme of group sessions, delivered by Harbour’s expert support workers, which help them understand the impact of their harmful behaviour, and support them to make positive changes and develop healthy relationships.
A lot of people who attend the programme have not yet been physically abusive to their partner, and get help before they cross the line.
“They are not always people who are physically abusive and it’s great
Lesley Hill, Make a Change coordinator at Harbour
if we can catch them before they get to that point,” said Lesley.
Another central part of the programme is that partners and expartners of people taking part will be offered separate, confidential support by Changing Lives.
This helps to identify the issues that are being experienced and improve safety and wellbeing.
“It doesn’t just focus the person using abuse of harmful behaviours, it also offers support to their partners or ex-partners,” said Lesley.
“The person whose view is most important is the partner’s. Every week partners are contacted to get their opinion of how things are at home. It’s really great when someone says something like, ‘I feel so much safer now, I don’t feel like I’m walking on eggshells’.
“This programme gives people who are worried about their behaviour a chance to get help to change as soon as possible.
“It’s somewhere they can learn about the effects harmful behaviour can have on the whole family and improve relationships with past, current or future partners.
“I’ve been part of delivering the programme in Durham and I’ve seen first-hand the difference it makes.”
One man who completed the programme, but did not want to be named, said: “Make a Change has made huge changes to me and my family’s life. It’s given me hope. I can go forward understanding my boundaries and actions and the effect that they have on the ones around me. The tools I have gained are invaluable.”
Laura Mcintyre, head of operational services at Changing Lives, said: “We’re excited to partner with Harbour to offer another route to support for people in Newcastle. “The way that the programme helps people at an early stage will mean we can reach more people experiencing harm from a partner or ex-partner and help them make the choices that are right for them.” A woman whose partner completed the programme in another area said: “The most important thing was being heard. The support helped me realise how bad things had got.
“My support worker was absolutely wonderful and I can’t praise her enough.”
Northumbria Police and Crime Commissioner Kim Mcguinness
As well as working directly with people who are worried about their behaviour, and their partners and ex-partners, Make a Change offers support to the wider community to help people who have concerns about someone else’s relationship.
Local organisations and professionals can join free training to understand harmful behaviour in relationships, learn how to spot the signs and approach the issue safely.
Harbour’s support services will also offer wider help and alternative programmes for people who require different or more complex support.
Northumbria Police and Crime Commissioner Kim Mcguinness said: “It’s fantastic we’re bringing the Make a Change programme to Newcastle and that we’re really growing its presence here in the North East so we can improve lives.
“Getting in there with the right response at the earliest opportunity before someone’s harmful behaviours continue and get worse is what this support is all about.
“It provides people causing harm with the help they need to change by recognising and understanding the extent of the damage their behaviour has on their partner or ex-partner, and not forgetting the children too.
“It really is about prevention. With this work comes community and staff awareness raising too so everyone can play their part in spotting signs and shining a light on harmful behaviours as soon as possible and helping make a change.”
Coun Paula Maines, Cabinet Member for a Resilient City at Newcastle City Council, said: “I am proud that we are partnering with the Make a Change programme.
“It is a very positive step for Newcastle and shows our commitment to reducing the impact of people using harmful behaviour on both adults and children by tackling it at the root cause.
“This initiative is key to identifying and engaging with those individuals causing harm and helping them to understand, identify and reflect on harmful norms, behaviours and dynamics in their own lives.”
■ For more information or to access the programme call 03000 20 25 25, email info@myharbour.org.uk or visit the Make a Change website at www.makeachange.uk.net