The Chronicle (South Tyneside and Durham)
DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR…
DESPITE THE OCCASIONAL CHUCKLE, THIS DARK AGES COMEDY FAILS TO MAKE THE MOST OF ITS CRACKING CAST
MONKEY MAN (18) ★★★☆☆
Dev Patel’s directorial debut, revenge drama Monkey Man, is an ambitious undertaking.
The actor also stars as nameless orphan Kid who ekes out a meagre living in an underground fight club run by promoter Tiger (Sharlto Copley).
Big money changes hands on the outcome of bone-crunching bouts and the Kid is the resident patsy.
He regularly dresses in a gorilla mask to take beatings from the crowd’s reigning champion, King Kobra (Brahim Chab).
The cheap, blood-spattered disguise conceals Kid’s deep-rooted grief about the murder of his mother Neela (Adithi Kalkunte) during a police raid orchestrated by sadistic chief Rana Singh (Sikandar Kher).
Her senseless death was part of a heavy-handed land-clearing operation on behalf of cult leader Baba Shakti (Makarand Deshpande), whose influence will decide forthcoming political elections during Diwali.
Kid vows revenge and worms his way into a high-end brothel run by Queenie (Ashwini Kalsekar), which is frequented by police and dignitaries.
Getting close to Rana Singh comes at a terrible price and Kid is rescued from certain death by the hijra, an ostracised intersex and transgender community, whose temple provides the perfect training ground to rebuild Kid’s strength.
“You should have died from your injuries. The gods must have a greater purpose for you,” encourages hijra leader Alpha (Vipin Sharma).
Monkey Man offers brief respites from the close-up savagery.
Recuperation with the hijra provides a satisfying calm before the storm then the script strains credibility by imagining these guardian angels as a finely calibrated troupe of assassins.
Patel is in almost every scene and possesses seemingly inexhaustible energy. However, the film lacks his stamina.
■ In cinemas now
SEIZE THEM! (15) ★★☆☆☆ REVIEWS BY DAMON SMITH
THE lights go out completely in director Curtis Vowell’s Dark Ages comedy, which instigates a peasant uprising in an olde worlde England where impromptu banquets steady royal nerves and dissent is met with merry dismemberment.
Spirited woodcutter Humble Joan (Nicola Coughlan) leads this bloodthirsty insurrection against unpopular queen Dagan (Aimee Lou Wood), who inherited the throne from her tyrant father Ur-nammu (Murray Mcarthur).
The toppled monarch is gleefully deluded about her predicament and goes on the run with her trusted servant Shulmay (Lolly Adefope) in search of a new army to restore her rightful place on the throne.
Neighbours King Ivarr (Paul Kaye) and King Guthrum (John Macmillan) from across the sea may provide a lifeline.
Sweet and dim-witted dung shoveller, Bobik (Nick Frost) agrees to accompany Dagan and Shulmay on their exhausting 140-mile odyssey to the coast with treacherous royal adviser Leofwine (Jessica Hynes) and two guards in lukewarm pursuit.
En route, the fugitives seek kindness and counsel from the queen’s subjects including Felix the ironmonger (James Acaster) and Witgar the baker (Nitin Ganatra).
Visually and tonally, Seize Them! trudges through similar terrain to Horrible Histories: The Movie – Rotten Romans, albeit with a distinctly adult sense of humour, on-screen bloodletting and a cartload of expletives.
Emmy Award-winning Veep screenwriter Andy Riley’s script urgently requires a grindstone to sharpen the blunt edges of its rapier wit so the film can at least cut the dead air.
For prolonged periods, jokes faceplant into the mud, and when a punchline does land on its feet, relief is short lived and invariably followed by another uncomfortable silence.
Thankfully, the film stops short of unleashing a punning caterwaul of “the peasants are revolting!”.
A dizzying array of British and Irish talent with glowing comic credentials are squandered.
Time runs out for Vowell’s picture before the half-hearted and preordained redemption of Wood’s insufferable, petulant head of state, who catches one whiff of revolution blowing in the wind and heads for the nearest hills.
Seize Them! is a disappointment by virtue of the proven comic artistry behind and in front of the camera.
In every respect, Dagan’s journey of self-discovery is a slog and the few deserved chuckles including an abortive attempt to throw a dead body off a cliff only heighten the nagging regret about what might have been.
If Vowell’s picture was a court jester, it would be tossed into a dungeon for failing to make merry.
■ In cinemas now