Fame should be like having your own Wendy house

The really weird thing about the recent Brangelina divorce news, as with many recent breakup stories, is the number of non-slebs marvelling at the seemingly outrageous and over-the-top home lifestyles of these people. “Chaos and anarchy in Brad and Angelina’s home” was one such headline, which sums up the general tone, with commentators and the usual embittered former employees/“close personal friends” popping up to tell the world these people are not like us.

Really? World famous couple who are more beautiful than anyone we’ve ever seen in real life and earn squillions for every film they make do not go home, get their slippers on, make the kids’ tea, supervise homework, watch a bit of telly and go to bed early. How is that news?

Surely the whole point of being as famous as Brangelina is that you can run around your luxury home with just your pants on, screaming “I’m king of the world” before smearing your face with Nutella and getting a pet meerkat to lick it off if you so wish. I know I would. Ex-nannies have been spilling the beans on the fact that the many children of Brad and Angelina (I’m sorry, I can’t be bothered to Google how many there are) don’t (gasp!) have set bedtimes.

Again, how can this be shocking? I like to imagine the world of ridiculously famous families being very similar to the world of toddlers at nursery school, who get the chance to be let loose in a giant Wendy house without any adult supervision.

Unfortunately, as we’ve learnt from various similarly bitter stories involving many other sleb divorces, toddlers never know when to stop – especially when they’ve gone the full adult equivalent of a blue Smarties or Haribos bender.

As my granny would tell you, this is not big and it’s not clever. Neither is it newsworthy.

That said, I can’t help looking forward to reading about the debauched and chaotic lifestyles of those involved in the other great breakup news recently.

I have high hopes for Mary Berry’s anarchic antics behind closed doors.

You can run around your luxury home with just your pants on