Hermless: Michael’s Scottish national anthem (almost)

In the introduction to Hermless, Michael said: “This song was my suggestion for the national anthem of Scotland, and it’s one of my songs, and that would appear to be a very impertinent thing to do, especially in Dundee as, you know, we take a pride in our modesty.

“But, I must stress, at the time there were only two suggestions, and I didn’t like either of them, really.

“Both of them were kind of military, or based on hatred of our neighbours, and I find that unacceptable, although we’re not alone in that, because I did a study of national anthemry the world over, and we are not alone; you know, generally they are pretty duff.

“I think the South African one is beautiful, it’s celebratory and it’s up and you can tell it’s full of love, so I like that one. The Dutch one has a great tune. But apart from that they’re all pretty dodgy, I think.

“They’re either based on extravagant claims about themselves or just plain, simple hatred of their neighbours. In fact, if you ever get a chance to read the Algerian national anthem, have a drink before you do.

“Anyway, this one is very simple. The chorus goes: ‘Hermless, hermless, there’s never nae bather fae me/i ging to the lehbry, I tak oot a book, and then I go hame for ma tea.’

“Okay? Take great care over the word ‘lehbry’, it has a Latin root but it is definitely Dundee, that one.”