critics’ choice

Britain’s Got Talent (STV, 8pm-9.25pm)

New series. Ant Mcpartlin and Declan Donnelly host the opening auditions of the nationwide talent search. The usual wide variety of acts, from comedians to contortionists, magicians to martial artists and singers to spoon players, compete to impress returning judges Simon Cowell, Alesha Dixon, Amanda Holden and David Walliams. Whomever the quartet choose to send through to the live stages will then be in with a chance of winning a huge cash prize and a coveted slot at the Royal Variety Performance later this year.

The Keith and Paddy Picture Show (STV, 9.25pm-9.55pm)

All good blockbusters deserve a sequel, so after the success of the first series last year, Keith Lemon and Paddy Mcguinness are back to parody more iconic films. First up is Grease, where Keith’s Pink Ladies include Fearne Cotton, Stacey Solomon, Emily Atack and Emma Willis.

Salamander: Blood Diamonds (BBC4, 9pm-10.35pm)

New series. Gerardi investigates the assassination of a refugee, but makes an alarming discovery when he visits the unconscious suspect in hospital. Filip Peeters, Tine Reymer, Violet Braeckman and Arnaud Bronsart star. In French and Flemish.

Harry Hill’s Alien Fun Capsule (STV, 7.30pm-8pm)

In theory, the aim of this panel show is to create a capsule full of clips that would prove to any invading aliens that the human race is good for a laugh and therefore worth saving. In in the first episode, Micky Flanagan, Robert Peston, Sally Dynevor and Anneka Rice get caught up in the madness.

Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live (More4, 9pm-10pm)

Stand-up show recorded at London’s Bloomsbury Theatre in 2011, in which the comedienne shares humorous insights into her life, including the perils of living alone, and offers advice on such topics as non-fattening stress relief, and the acceptable face of adultery.