Foolproof way for students to ensure parents don’t pine

It seems only a short while since I dropped the Student off at her spanking new university accommodation, full of excitement (her) and mortal dread (me).

How sobering then to find myself, along with other parents throughout Scotland, making the return journey. I do hope I’m not alone in arriving to find the following scene:

Rather than the frenzy of activity which I was hoping to find, during which the bags and boxes I had previously delivered for the purpose had been filled, I came across the Student in the communal kitchen, calmly eating a cheese-and-pickle bagel (on crockery due to be packed away) whilst watching something on a screen in front of her.

“How are you doing with the packing? Is everything ready to put in the car?” She managed to turn away from the screen to explain “Er no, I’ve been really busy, I haven’t had time. Do you want a cup of tea?”

Her exams had finished several days before so I’m not quite sure what she was busy with... certainly not cleaning. Presumably the reason teenagers become ever more manky once they have started university is to make sure their parents do not miss them so much when they go back for their second year.

Before we could start packing (with the car six flights down, parked in a dubious space, natch) I found myself having to remove teeny tiny drawing pins from a wall of pinboard featuring a gazillion photos, cards and tickets.

Ignoring the enormous and full laundry basket, I got to work with the rubber gloves and antiseptic wipes I had taken with me. It took me a while to realise that while I was up to my elbows in the grime covering every surface, the Student was having a lovely time going through the pile of photos and messaging her friends with nostalgic selfies from various club nights.

What followed was the kind of mother-daughter frank exchange of views which I had forgotten about over the last few months.

It’s going to be a long summer.