Not quite sure our garden is ready for Calendar Girls

Fiona thinks that she is very lucky to have her own backyard during lockdown but may not be ready for World Naked Gardening Day

Ithink she is joking when she tells me about it. Because World Naked Gardening Day has come and gone.

Up to now I have never heard of it, although it is apparently a well-established international occurrence. The thing is, an event like this is something you probably only think about when there is not much to think about. When you are in lockdown and there is little else going on in your life.

Anyhow, I am on the phone to my girlfriend when she mentions it. I go on to the internet to check. And yes, she is right. There is indeed a World Naked Gardening Day. Websites show a variety of folk, all in their birthday suits. Most of them with strategically placed fruit and vegetables covering modesties. I mention it to the chief. And wonder if this is the sort of thing he might be interested in taking part in next year?

He considers for a moment. Then declares that it depends on the weather. On how cold it is in May. Then there is the matter of safety. Because the Macgregors’ sort of gardening does not involve gloves and secateurs.

It consists of chain saws. Which is perhaps not the sort of activity you want to do in in the buff. Then there are the other risks. Like prickly cacti and thorny rose bushes. It causes some amusement. Yet folk take it seriously – and who are we to giggle?

It is probably a healthy, hearty way to enjoy the garden. You can put a smile on your neighbour’s face. Especially when the sun shines.

In the meantime, fully clothed, I can confirm that the Armstrong Macgregor policies have never looked better.

Because all this free time means lawns are manicured, and borders are weeded. It is unusual. But it is that glorious time of year.

Spring bursting forth; the leaves baby green; the rhododendrons flowering and the wild garlic budding…

Tied to the house, I am rapidly becoming a true daughter of the soil. And with no-one to see them, who cares about the dirt under my increasingly chipped nails. If only I can find a way to keep the rabbits off the hostas – and the Macnaughties off the plants... Today the spaniel follows me into the vegetable plot and decides to lie down on the emerging radish seedlings. As he is deaf, Barra cannot hear the shouts. With his sight failing he takes no notice of arms waving madly. So I must physically remove the hapless hound. By which

Barra, my spaniel, cannot hear the shouts as he is deaf... with his sight failing he takes no notice of my arms, so I have to move the hapless hound

time no-one is going to be eating any salad stuff anytime soon.

Then the naughty Norfolk is found under the trees, trampling the grape hyacinths.

Of course, in the great scheme of things, these are all minor problems.

Because it hits home just how lucky we are to have a garden to go out in.

I hope you have one, too – or at least access to some green – and I hope you are holding up.

Fiona’s dog takes to hiding in her garden during this lockdown period.