Nothing can spoil holidays taken in the imagination

I’m busy enjoying some splendid fantasy holidays at the moment. Too scared to contemplate booking an actual holiday, I’ve been daydreaming about my perfect break and I have to say, they’re much better than the real thing. Also, much cheaper. I know it seems a bit tame when I have the world to choose from, but my favourite fantasy hols are actually staycations. My planning process for the ideal fantasy break tends to start at the travel stage, driving along empty roads, never getting stuck behind caravans, marvelling at the beautiful Scottish scenery.

At regular intervals, I’d say “Look at all this on our doorstep, why would you want to go anywhere else?” like a tourism promotional film on a constant loop.

We’d arrive at a ferry crossing to one of the islands, drive straight on and enjoy the smoothest crossing ever (I have notoriously poor sea legs) on a glassily calm sea. After a pleasant drive across the island, we’d arrive at an idyllic cottage, nestled on the banks of a loch.

On entering, we’d discover that, rather than finding someone else’s toast still under the grill or a stranger’s smalls drying on top of the Aga, the clean and cosy kitchen would contain a welcome pack including a bottle of the local single malt and the finest organic artisan products.

We’d settle in front of a cosy log fire in front of floor-to-ceiling windows giving us views of wildlife frolicking in the loch.

The following days would be spent hiking effortlessly up mountains or enjoying surfing (also effortlessly, natch) from perfect white sandy beaches.

Lunch would mainly consist of fresh local lobster and chips, enjoyed while sitting on the end of a pier with our feet dangling in the water.

Obviously, the weather during this fantasy holiday would be outstanding. Sunny in the daytimes, no midges, with a slight chill in the evenings making the fire and whisky welcome.

My only worry is that when we do go on a real holiday again, Scotland has an awful lot to live up to. Here’s hoping.

“My favourite fantasy holidays are actually staycations