The Courier & Advertiser (Fife Edition)
Getting to know you
TV funny man Tony Roper is writer of award-winning drama The Steamie, which returns to the stage for its 30th anniversary in September. Here, he spills the beans
Q Do you prefer funny or serious roles?
A Funny serious roles that pay very well.
Q Your house is on fire, what one item do you save?
A My maps. I’d be lost without them.
Q Last meal on earth?
A Quail and chips.
Q Dream dinner party guests?
A People who thought I were interesting.
Q First thing you’d do if you won £1 million?
A Give it away.
Q What would be your superhero name?
A Sofa hugger man.
Q Save it or spend it?
A Rainy days mustn’t be ignored but spending is so much fun.
Q Quiet night in or big night out?
A Quiet night out.
Q Early bird or night owl?
A Night owl who falls asleep early.
Q Home or abroad?
A Abroad but within six hours flying by private jet.
Q Rebel rebel or teacher’s pet?
A Rebellious but in a feart way.
Q Cats or dogs?
A Both, I am an animal lover and usually bond well with furry things that don’t speak English.
Q Sweet or savoury?
A Anything that burns my mouth, makes me slaver, overeat, and keeps me awake due to intense heartburn is irresistible.
Q What was the worst punishment you had as a child?
A Getting frequent embarrassing slaps on the legs in public from my mother who insisted it was for my own good. It wasn’t and she knew it.
Q What keeps you awake at night? Q Happiest memory?
A Can’t say as this is a family newspaper and I might get sued from various bodies.
Q And most embarrassing?
A Forgetting my lines in a play I had written.
Q Biggest regret?
A Don’t have any. What’s done is history and regretting it won’t alter that.
Q If you could turn back the clock what one thing would you change?
A The time it was before I turned back the clock of course.
Q What are you proudest of?
A Pride is a foolish emotion, unless it’s totally selfish, and I’m not quite totally selfish yet. I’ll get there though with hard work and dedication.
Q Who would you like to thank?
A My parents, without whose exertions 75 years ago I wouldn’t be writing this.
Q What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?
A I was almost finished writing a play and being new to computers hadn’t backed it up. Pressed a key and wiped the lot. I threw the computer at the wall and that made everything better. Not. I had to start all over from scratch. Strange thing was I enjoyed the process.
Q What’s your motto?
A Do the best you can, and if it’s not good enough they can get someone else.
Q Where’d you rather be right now?
A At a football match.
Q Write your own epitaph.
A What you looking at? Away home and gloat.
Q City break or weekend in the country? A Weekend in the country. The country would be Brazil