Coffee lounge’s child ban leaves bitter taste in mouth

Every parent wants some child-free time, sooner or later, so I was surprised by how offended I felt when a café owner banned children. This story is straight out of the silly season of late summer, when news organisations are on the hunt for something to fill gaps in their pages and schedules. I should ignore it but I can’t. Amid the usual banalities and minor controversies, it was reported that The Chart Room – a posh coffee lounge in Brixham, Devon – caused a stir with a policy that under-12s wouldn’t be admitted.

The explanation was the place was filled with expensive antiques. The owner, Bob Higginson, reportedly said he felt “quite nervous” about having children near the precious things and wanted to create “a nice, quiet zone” for grown-ups. That’s just unfriendly. Kids are kids and, especially when they are young, all children can be problematic. They are, after all, being taught to become well-rounded people and, by definition, none have graduated yet.

This doesn’t assume poor behaviour, although the bairns playing up does add pressure to parenting, especially when casual observers start glaring or tutting. Even a well-behaved little one will generate noises and smells. I am reminded of a small child in my care who suddenly and randomly sang “Heeeeey, sexy lady” in a supermarket café filled with genteel women of advanced years, to my dismay.

Parenting, in my experience, tends to fluctuate between overwhelming joy that I can spend time with these amazing little people and a desperate need to hide in a cupboard until they go away or, at least, stop throwing jam. So I should understand if a café owner wants a child-free zone, but I just can’t.

Children exist so get used to it. Insinuating they’re a problem means they have no chance. There’s no obligation to be comfortable around children, or to make an area child-friendly, but it’s basic courtesy to accept all types of people, big or small, and have a little faith in their good nature. Just make sure the antiques are insured. You never know.

Children exist so get used to it