Who’s the banana?

“My wife’s 12-year-old Ford Ka – the Banana we call it because it is bright yellow – acquired a flat tyre the other day,” writes a Craigie regular.

“I looked at it doubtfully for a moment or two, then started thinking about changing the wheel. A thorough search made it obvious the wheel and jack were not in the boot, but under the car. I was even more doubtful then, at my advanced age.

“I fetched two tyre-pumps, one operated by foot and the other by connecting it to the car battery. Neither made any impression on the tyre.

“Luckily, we have a tyre repair garage only half-a-mile away and I took the car down there.

“The manager phoned up later to say the flat tyre was OK, but he had found something wrong with the wheel and had repaired that. Unfortunately, he had discovered that it would be wise to replace the two rear tyres as they were the original 12-year-old tyres (how did he know that?). Although the treads were legal, the walls were dicey and could cause a blow-out any time.

“However, on such a small car, he could offer two new tyres at £27 each and, with the repair to the front wheel and men’s time, the total bill would be only £111.

“I was wondering aloud whether the old banger was worth it, when the manager said: ‘I think you could give the old lady another chance.’

“I thought: ‘That’s a bit cheeky, talking about my wife like that,’ then I realised he was talking about the car!

“Now the old Banana (I’m still talking about the car) is back on the road with a repaired front wheel functioning perfectly and two brand-new tyres on the back. I hope she appreciates it and is good for another few years’ sterling service although she has some mileage on her and been round the block a few times (I still mean the car!).”