Putting the fake tan away – and getting out those boots

As my regular readers know, I experience a sartorial joy when the weather turns colder. It means I can stop letting my limbs see the light of day and commence swaddling them in opaque denier and layers of (non-itchy) dark wool, which suits me much better.

However there is always a slight downside to this giddy heralding of a new season. It is of course the boots dilemma. Sure, we all worry about the bigger picture and whether the world is going to hell in a handcart etc, but because I am fundamentally shallow and spoilt, this particular issue has been troubling me as much as ever.

Here’s the dilemma: I have a pair of ankle boots and a pair of kneehigh boots which I have had for some years now. Every autumn, I take them out and look at them. Worn, scuffed, literally down-atheel. Then I put them on and remember that the suede and leather have moulded so perfectly to my feet that wearing them is as comfortable as a favourite pair of slippers.

Once they’re on, I find it impossible to take them off for any length of time – ie the time it would take to get either pair re-heeled and generally spruced up. I have tried to purchase new boots, but every time I try any on, they do not have the perfect heel height, right colour of suede or comfort factor of the old favourites.

Hence I am currently clipclopping around in a pair of boots which look as though I have borrowed them from a scarecrow. But I’m happy as Larry because autumn is all about comfort.

Snuggling in, getting the winter duvet on, the Great British Bake Off, heating on, buying a new pencil case for old times’ sake (just me then?, making a hearty stew, getting giddy about grey skies/grey cashmere/grey squirrels, replacing the pale rosé with a sturdy red, putting the fake tan bottle back in the bathroom cabinet.

Summer? It’s dead to me now. Bring on the winter.