The Courier & Advertiser (Fife Edition)
Living dangerously
“I have lived dangerously all my life – or atleastsinceImarried,”writesa Craigie regular.
“I have to watch my step. Why? Because my wife leaves all kinds of potentially dangerous obstacles lying about all over the house – the stairs, the landing leading to the bathroom, the bedroom. You name it, my wife has placed something eminently trippable there.
“I got wise to her a long time ago and have since carefully removed such items to a safer place. My wife leaves objects at the top of the stairs for carrying down and at the bottom for carrying up. If I am transporting something large and heavy like a boxful of books, I have to watch my feet in case there’s something in the way.
“A large wastepaper basket was left on the landing the other night, exactly where I pass on the way to the bathroom in the wee sma’ oors, often without switching on the light. Luckily, I spotted it in time and ensured a safe passage for the journey back.
“I have sometimes wondered whether it is deliberate and my wife is trying to dispose of me. If so, my mother had the same habit. Many’s the time my father emitted a loud roar or even scream when he sat down on a needle my mother had left on a chair. She also left booby traps on the stairs.
“Is this a general habit with the female sex or is it confined to our family? At 87, I reckon I have been lucky to have survived so long. Perhaps I have just learned to expect the worst and act accordingly. Now what’s that at the foot of the stairs?”