Don’t bring me down! Perfect gift for an ominous birthday

Ihave a very sobering birthday coming up. While not a biggie in terms of something with an 0 on the end, it is nevertheless a landmark in certain ways. It seems that when you reach this particular in-between age, you may not be entitled to a stonking great party but, on the plus side, various “perks” become available to you.

For instance, on my daytime cinema outings with my chums, I shall now be entitled to a special £3 ticket which includes a tea or coffee and biscuits on the way into the film. Only in one particular chain, natch, but wahey!

Also, the retirement homes near us for which The Student keeps telling us she has us on the waiting list are advertising a “lifestyle living” package for people over this particular age.

Apparently, this is “about ‘rightsizing’ your living space so you can upsize your active lifestyle”.

Blimey. If it were not for Mr P’s increasingly intolerant attitude to people, we could sell up, rightsize in there and let someone else worry about that noise that starts up after any flush of the downstairs loo.

As you may have guessed, I am trying to see the bright side of things as I prepare to ‘celebrate’ this birthday. Inside I am dying, obvs.

Luckily, I have taken precautions for the day itself with tickets to see ELO. This is a nod to my teenage self and the guilty secret I used to carry around in my punk years.

It was incredibly naff among my friends to like ELO back in the ’70s, but I rebelled by harbouring a wee spot in my heart for them, alongside the more acceptable punk bands at the time. And now they’re back! On my birthday!

It’s a sign of some sort. I’m not sure what it says.

Maybe something along the lines – If you can still be bothered to get your gig outfit on, travel to the venue, sing and dance along then stay up beyond your bedtime on a school night, so can we. And that’s good enough for me.

It seems rock ‘n’ roll really is king.