Shocking situation

“A tourist injured by a faulty hotel electric iron is suing for £200,000,” writes a Craigie regular. “If he is successful, I shall feel hard done by, since, during my National Service in Cyprus, I was frequently exposed to faulty electrical devices,” he says.

“Squaddies lived in tents. They had concrete floors and the tent was supported by a pole in the centre to which were attached all the electric fittings. When I first arrived, my three tent-mates were on duty and my welcome came in the form of an electric shock from the radio.

“I subsequently found that everything in the tent which came in contact with any wires attached to the central pole was live. I received shock after shock until, by the time my tent-mates arrived back, I was afraid to touch anything.

“It turned out that they had been living like this for some time and hadn’t bothered to report it in case they were put on a charge for misuse of equipment. I was then initiated into the ways they had learned to avoid shocks.

“Ironing could only be done if I laid a folding wooden chair flat on the floor and stood on it, thus preventing the current earthing. The radio was faulty and had a metal case. To avoid shocks, the radio had been housed in a wooden box and the lads used a long stick to change programmes.

“I had finally mastered the art of living in this dangerous environment, when this existence came to an abrupt end.

“The Regimental Sergeant-Major was inspecting the tents when we were all on parade and somebody had left the radio on. ‘Who left that radio on?’ he bawled, reached over to switch it off and leapt spectacularly in the air with the shock.

“We four tent occupants were promptly put on a charge and found ourselves peeling spuds and doing extra guard duties for a week.”