Burgeoning ‘revenge gift’ industry leaves a bad taste

As soon as I discovered the “revenge gift” industry I was tempted. It was a spur-of-the-moment online search, in mild curiosity, and I was amazed to see the effort, investment and creativity of people so embittered against former partners they will seek vengeance. I probably seem even more unhinged than usual, so let’s backtrack for an explanation.

A zoo in Texas is celebrating St Valentine’s Day by allowing people to name cockroaches after their ex-partners, then feeding said cockroaches to meerkats.

At time of writing, the plan is still to display the names in the zoo and online.

The El Paso Zoo event has been named Quit Bugging Me!!!, with three exclamation marks.

As any fule kno, using multiple exclams is a sign of a damaged mind, similar to writing letters to newspapers using green ink.

Yes, readers. We notice that stuff. Anyway, the initiative, which saw 1,500 people pay $2 to join in, was immediately successful.

I thought: “Surely that’s not common behaviour” and Googled “Valentines revenge”. Google, after objecting to being called Shirley, corrected me. I should have guessed.

Embittered by rejection? Try a candle that starts smelling like apples but, after a while, stinks of flatulence.

Angry at being cheated on? An online service lets you send a box of scorpions. You can also send dead, decaying roses in a box printed with profane insults, or, oddly, a potato that bears a written message of your choice.

Enraged for any reason? There’s a whole sub-genre of car stickers, mugs, T-shirts and the like displaying slogans questioning their recipient’s parentage, morals or sexual prowess.

The revenge industry is surprisingly huge. Several websites compete for the privilege of sending your enemy a box of excrement from the animal of your choice.

It’s shocking, but I confess I almost clicked on something appalling.

I have someone special during this commercialised and fake holiday of love, but I know not everyone is so lucky, or even inclined to take part.

But spending money on revenge seems daft, and pointless. What a waste, when you can practise self-care and treat yourself with that cash.

Also chocolate is cheap on the 15th, and it’s tastier than a crunchy cockroach.